*PRESENT DAY: 5th December, 2023*
*BACK TO THE PREVIOUS: January 30th, 2023*
Dear Reader,
January burned out quickly like cigarettes, and on the 30th, I was still waiting for a lot I didn't dare hope to obtain. I tried my best not to expect, yet deep down, I longed for that dress. I know it didn't make much sense, but the dress wasn't my only source of stress. I was trying so hard to be different that I almost forgot how to be myself. From the 3rd all the way to the 30th, I grappled mostly with self-confidence. So, I promised myself that I would work on every flawed aspect starting from the 31st.
I was such a mess, but I'm a lot different now, I suppose. Back then, I was easily irritated, and I frequently doubted my essence. I carefully weighed every sentence, carrying certain sentiments. I restrained certain statements because hurting someone's feelings would weigh on my conscience. Despite my efforts to extend goodness, some remained indifferent and rejected it.
Dear Reader, On the 30th of January, I decided to change my perspectives. I resolved to give myself some respect. "How many girls do you know who can handle a pen?" I pondered. People will only see you as you see yourself.
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ContoPerhaps you assume my heart had been shattered in the past, leading me to vow never to love again. If such assumptions arise, they're not far from the truth. My heart did endure fractures before, but never did I vow not to love. It seems my system u...
