You were made for me

IX

~ 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓃 ~

She was cuddled up on my chest as we both laid on the sofa. I played with her hair, stroking it, and twirling it; I love it when her hair is down. my other hand was intertwined with hers as she mindlessly played with my fingers. My fingers ran through her soft hair so easily, she snuggled her head on my chest and let out a long breath. The rise and fall of her chest were the only movement, and the pouring rain was the only sound that echoed through the house.

I used to hate the sound of things echoing in an empty house, it was the sound that filled my house constantly.

When I walked, my footsteps would echo.

When I placed my keys down, the clanking of my keys would echo.

The sound of crickets would consume the house.

All the sounds that echoed through the house would still cause some kind of burst of life, but somehow the only living thing in that house made the emptiest noises. I loved to be alone, the peace and quiet; but there comes a time where the loneliness gets too much, too much to handle, too much to enjoy, and it consumes you.

It fucking sucks. It's one of the most mind fucking things in this world. The thing that you cant see or describe.

The thing that lodges itself in your throat.

The thing that makes you eyes sting with tears.

The things that crawls all through your body.

The thing that leaves you numb.

The thing that makes you want to sleep and sleep and sleep; just so you can escape it.

It feels like a huge weight was placed on your chest, its so heavy and it weighs you down. it makes your legs weak and all you want to do is just lie down and let it crush you. the feeling of having everything you need and still feeling like something is missing. The feeling of being able to feel that something is wrong but not knowing how to fix it because you dont know what it is thats wrong.

Empty, just standing in an empty black void and trying to grasp something. That's what it feels like, that's what It is.

Here, right now, Athena laying on my chest as I stoke her hair, this feels like having something to hold on to in that void.

There are so many things that I need to tell her, so many things that I need her to know about me. I'm so fucking scared that shes going to run for the hills when she finds out, and I wouldn't blame her. she has every right to; but until then let me savour this small feeling of peace, the feeling of the weight on my chest being lighter.

That's exactly what I do for the next one hour, I watch her fingers stop playing with mine and her breathing become steady as she dozes off. I wrap my hands around her tighter and I close my eyes as I drift off to sleep; and for the first time in years, it didn't feel like an escape or a chore, it felt like going to sleep knowing that I was happy today and I would wake up tomorrow and the happiness would be there for me to cherish and enjoy.

~

I can feel the stream of warmth on my face from the sun shining through the window. The weight on my body confirms that Athena is still sleeping on my chest, I slowly open my eyes as they adjust to the light and look at her. her eyes closed, no frown lines marring her face, her calm breaths; she was peace. she's the definition of peace. I laid there, just enjoying my few moments of peace. the mornings of peace that I've craved for so long.

After half an hour I felt her stir and lift her head off from my chest. I looked at her, her messy hair, her sleepy eyes, the small frown on her lips from waking up. she looked at me, then she lifted her hand and brought it to my face. She touched my cheek and gentry caressed it; I grabbed her hand and brought it to my lips, placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She moved her body up and snuggled her face into the side of my neck, while burying her hands in my hair.

"I don't wanna go to work, I wanna sleep" she sleepily whispers in my ear.

I chuckle and gently stroke her hair, "how about I take you out after work? I'll take you to a few hidden gems in the town."

"Are you asking me on a second date Mr. roux?" I chuckle.

"Would you do me the honour of going on a second date with me Ms. Faye?" she lifts her head up and looks at me with a smile. It wasn't a wide smile, but a calm one, a peaceful one, it was a content smile; and somehow it meant more to me.

"I would love to go out with you" I stroked her cheek with my hand and then I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"Come on sleepy head, it's time for you and me to get ready for work," Athena stood up and stretched her hands above her head letting out a long breath.

"Let me make a pot of coffee" she says as she walks to the kitchen.

I Get up and start to fold all the blankets on the sofa and place them in a neat pile. After I'm done, I walk to the kitchen to see her pouring the coffee in to two cups. She turns around and hands me one and I thank her. we both sit on the kitchen counter and we drink our coffee in a comfortable silence.

After we're done, I change my clothes and place the shirt and sweatpants in the laundry hamper. I walk out of the room to see her trying to fix her hair in the mirror thats beside the door. I walk up to her and she quickly turns around and smiles at me.

"I'll pick you up at 6, alright Tesoro?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then"

After we said our goodbyes, I go down and get in my car. I made some calls and moved my schedule around to make sure that I would be out of the office by 5 pm. I get home and get ready for work. I couldn't think of a time where I was actually looking forward to a day; and here I was smiling to myself in the mirror as I tied my tie, like a primary school kid who was going on a fucking field trip.

She's already got me wrapped around her finger, and I don't fucking mind.

If it's her I don't fucking mind. As long as it's her, and no one else.