You were made for me

IV

~ 𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓃 ~

I couldn't stop thinking about her. she was beautiful, her voice, her smile, her eyes, she even looked beautiful when she cried. She felt to good, to good to be true. At times I wonder whether she was a figment of my imagination. I keep thinking about last night. I wanted to stay in that moment forever, Athena in my arms, her lavender smell that wrapped around me, her big brown eyes, everything about her was perfect.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my thoughts. Come in, I said as I went back to my paper work. I didn't look up as an employee of mine walked in, he was in charge of the shipments and he had fucked a shipment up. I could basically smell the fear coming off him, I had been waiting for him to enter my office with the exact news that I had already gotten know.

He stood there not uttering a word as I continued to do my paper work; after 5 minutes I got bored, speak, I dont have all day, I said without looking up.

"M- Mr. Roux, there w-was a problem with the shipment" he stuttered out. I stopped writing and I looked up at him. he was in fact shaking. I leaned back in my chair and looked at him. had it been a pure accident the punishment would have been less severe, but I had gotten to know that it was not just a mere accident. He had leaked the shipments information out and purposefully been negligent, but in the end, it had also backfired on him. the people who had promised him a cut had runoff with everything.

I could let him off, because the shipment that had been stolen was already retrieved and half way across to it's destination; but messing with me has consequences. "Clear your table, your fired", he said in a monotoned voice. He opened his mouth to argue but kept it shut after seeing the look on my face. He nodded his head and ran out of my office.

His partners to whom he promised the shipment to would be very actively searching for him now to get payback.

~

I left the office early not having the mood to stay there any longer, especially since I had not seen my tesoro (Italian / darling, treasure) today. I parked my car and walked to the bookstore, partially because I wanted to get another book but mostly because I was hoping to see her. I walked into the bookstore and instantly I'm hit with the smell of books. If there was a smell that could give a certain feel of nostalgia and calmness, it was books.

Books were an escape from my haunted childhood, it was an escape from the nightmares. It was always easier to be with books then humans, so simple and so understanding. Maybe it was because I didn't have any friends, or maybe books always understood things that nobody ever said out load, books made all the anger, pain and darkness understandable.

I read every day when I was younger; I sat in a corner, curled up and read. It was my safe place. I would write my own thoughts alongside the pages; I would write until there was no more space on the page. Sometimes the pain would get too much, my neck would heat up and my ears would get blocked; and that was how I got into my first brawl when I was 14, safe to say I lost and ended up with a bruised eye and jaw. As time went on, fighting became my escape and I got good at it; the physical pain distracted me from the emotional one, even if it was only for a while.

I fought where ever I could, street fights, underground boxing rings, illegal fights, anywhere I could find a willing participant and sometimes the participants were not so willing. As time went by the lesser I fought, I had a reputation and no one wanted to cross paths with me; it was disappointing to be honest; but after the events of one rainy night I went back to books and drowned myself in work.

As I walked along the book shelve scheming the rows of books, I found a book that I had been wanting to read for some time. I reached out to take the book out of the shelve, but just then I saw them; the warm brown that reminded me of autumn and honey, those kind and beautiful eyes. Those eyes stared back at me, they widened and I knew she recognised me.

"Athena" I whispered.

She stared at me for a few seconds longer before she looked away, I couldn't see her face completely but I knew for a fact that she was biting her lip; she always did when she was shy. I walked to the other side of the shelve and there she was, my angelo. (Italian / angel)

I walked towards her and she looked up at me hearing my footsteps. She stared at me with those big beautiful brown eyes, and she was in fact biting her lips. I walked up to her and then she looked away from me and stared at the floor. Her bag was on the floor against the wall. it was a cosy place to read, we were at the last row at the back of the store between a shelve and the wall, there's a window that was tinted to allow a little light in.

"hello" she said, her voice soft and gentle.

"You come here often?" I asked her, even though I already knew the answer.

"Yeah, I like it here, it's nice" she said as she looked up at me.

My body, mind and soul ached for her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, hear her thoughts, see what makes her light up, listen to her laugh, I want it all. I couldn't stand it, for two years I had looked at her and admired her from afar and now she was right here. She was standing in front of me and I still hadn't made a move. I had never been scared to do anything in my life; but now standing here, right in front of her, I was scared.

Would I fuck this up?

What if I hurt her?

What if she doesn't like me?

What if I'm not good enough for her?

The last time I loved anyone I fucked it up and ruined it. I'll regret it for as long as I live, I've never forgiven myself and if I ruin her I don't think I'd be able to live with myself. The thought of her letting out a single tear because of me frightens me to death. I want her to be mine, just as much as I am hers. She owns all of me and she doesn't even know it.

I'm screwed.

She deserves the world and everything it has to offer, nothing less. I want to be that person that gives her everything, I wanna be the reason she laughs, the reason she smiles, the reason she stops crying, I want to be her person. I'll do anything to be her person.

"Can I take you out?"