we had the stars [tommyinnitxreader] (book 3/3)

chapter 9

y/n pov:

we entered my room and immediatly headed for the roof. after sitting up there in silence for a while tommy starts to say something, "hey y/n?" i hum, looking out at the stars, he pulls my face to look at him, "y/n... that moment earlier.." i blinked a few times, straight to the point aren't we- "yeah.. that- that was-"  he looks down for a second before looking at me, "yeah.." i smiled and went to look back at the stars, "y/n.. i dont think my feelings for you are completly gone.." i looked back at him, i blinked a few times, "im sorry, i just, after earlier i dont think i could just not tell you, i dont know if they are still here or not but like everytime im around you-" i stop him, "tommy i love you, but not romantically, we had a moment, but i think that's all it was, a moment. you know how badly it hurt last time, we could never work, not in my coma, not 3 years ago, and certainly not now.. so please, just no,"  i stood up to head back in but he pulls me back down, "y/n how do you know that we wont work now?" i sighed, "if we couldnt make it work 3 years ago what makes you think we'll be able to make it work now? i mean we just got back to being friends, are you sure you wanna risk it on a what if?" he blinks, "y/n, i would risk everything for you, i would give it all up if i could have half a chance with you.." i stare out at the stars for a moment, thinking. 

"please, can we please at least try?" i blink away a tear, "no.... tommy, you will never even have a sliver of a chance with me, i dont feel that way about you and i never will,"  he tried to get me to look at him, "y/n, please, youre the only one for me, and-" i cut him off, "no tommy, youre my friend. that's it, that's all you'll ever be," i got up and headed back to my room. i grabbed my wallet and car keys and headed to the attic. i knocked on the door and after a few seconds toby answers the door, "hey y/n, what's up?" i cleared my throat, "im going for a drive, do you wanna come with?" a flash of worry flashed in his eyes and he nodded. 

we headed downstairs to where schlatt was, "where are you off to?" he asks from the couch, "just need a change of scenary for inspo, i wont be out too late, and can you just hold onto this for me?" i toss him my phone. he nods and we head out, "are you okay y/n?" i shook my head, "i dont know, i need to clear my head for a minute, driving does that," he nods and we hop in the car. i dont know where i'm going but im going. 

"so what happened?" toby asked from beside me, i sigh, "well tommy and i have a special place to talk, it's something we've done since we were kids, and well we were talking and he said that he thinks he may still be in love with me, but i know that it wont work, even if i feel the same about him.. it didnt work out then, i mean it REALLY didnt work out, and now he tells me that he still loves me after i already came to terms with the fact that we'd never happen, not in this lifetime," he just sat there and listened until i was done talking, "y/n, i know how youre feeling, and i get that you're probably really scared of things happening the same way they did back then, but what if they dont? what if things work out this time?" i sighed, "it's really not that simple, i'm not willing to risk it all again, i already lost him once, and we just figured things out to where we're friends again, something i belived would never happen, but it did and i dont want to risk that all on a what if,"  i pulled over so i didnt wreak, "i wont let it all happen again, because this time would hurt even more than before," he pulls me into a hug, "y/n i love you, you're so strong, and you dont give up on anything, but you have to know something," 

tubbo pov:

i think for a moment on weather or not to tell her, i decided i should. "y/n, im not saying you should date him, you do what you think is right, but i think you should know everything that happened after you left.." i start telling the story..

3 years ago after you had left tommy and emily had a talk in the airport, emily told tommy that even though she liked him, and she thought tommy liked her, she knew that he loved you. she decided to break things off right then and there. tommy came to me a few days after and he said he wanted to come and see you, try and talk to you, but you were doing your book thing so i told him that it wouldn't be a great idea, he thought about it and decided to go anyway, at that point it'd been about 3 months, when he got to florida he'd learned that you had gone to germany to meet with some german publishers for your book. your book had just gotten really popular and you were traveling for almost a year, and then you ended up in new york and he went to talk to you but the people on your security team, not schlatt, cause he hadn't been your guard at the time, but the others. they wouldn't let him anywhere near you. so he gave up. when he came back he told me everything and told me not to tell you anything and that he would be doing other things. that was until your team contacted him to see if he was alright with you publishing your book, "stars and sunsets" 

she looked at me, studying everything, "so he tried talking to me so many times after he was dumped by emily?" i was taken aback for a moment, "i guess?" she laughed, "so he was DUMPED and thought if he could talk to me everything would be okay?" i shook my head, "no y/n, he was dumped. he wanted to talk to you because you were friends, he cared about you and hated the way you left things, please you have to know he wasnt just 'switching girls' you know he isnt like that.." she sighed, "yeah i know, i'm just really worked up about it.." 

1150 words<3