Chasing a story (Mha fanfic)

7: Caffeine!!

When I woke up tiredly, I hadn't expected to be forced to do much.
It wasn't until afternoon though, that I knew I had to do something.

Aizawa came home and he looked around.

"I forgot to clean up," he realised out loud.

I froze up.

Aizawa let out a tired sigh, the bandages way less than the anime, though it was still enough to have him look mummy like.
"No matter, I'll get to it tomorrow."

Still I was frozen as I looked around.
The apartment looked slightly trashed, sure, but it wasn't as bad as my previous room. Oh god, I had left that one a concerning mess, hadn't I?

As I got up though, I ignored reason and started cleaning up.
My hands shook slightly while I collected the coffee cups, and I almost dropped one, making the shaking worse.

Before long, my tired mood mixed with the mess and I almost gave up on everything.
Sitting back down for a second, I felt like actual shit.
Like, actual actual shit.

Rubbing my forehead did nothing to ease the agitated feeling in the back of my head, nor did taking a deep breath.
Was this about how I hadn't really safed Aizawa?
I had been here many times before, though this time, I hesitated when I got up.

Maybe instead of going to my room, finding a coping mechanism... I should just go to Aizawa?
I knew that I would find something sharp.

That thought alone was enough to bring me over the edge, as I felt the tears starting to fall.
Taking a step to Aizawa's room, my eyes glanced to the door leading to my own.
Taking another step, I felt my head turning the other way.
Taking a third step, my thoughts made me realise that trying would be hopeless. Either way, I needed something, and that was to go to my room.

Calmly I rubbed away my tears as I calmly started walking to my room.

As I cleaned up, a while later, I realised I had broken a promise.

Oh well.

At least I tried.

—

While Aizawa explained about the sports festival, I felt as though I wasn't really there. I leaned my head on my hand, just waiting until I could get another shot of espresso.
Yeah, it had gotten that bad. Coffee couldn't fix it anymore, I needed more.

Fortunately lunch saved my ass, allowing me to take a nap before I grabbed my coffee.

My tired mood unfortunately didn't go unnoticed.

Midoryia found me before class started again, walking with me to the classroom.
"So, you didn't really eat lunch," he said to start that conversation.

"I wasn't hungry," I shrugged as my eyes looked outside. From off here I could almost see where I first appeared.

"Ah, I see," Midoryia gave me a smile, "Just, er, if you want to talk—"

"No need," I smiled right back, the act being one I put up one to many times, "I'm totally fine, no worries."

Midoryia bought it as he started asking questions about my quirk, making me genuinely smile.
Such a Midoryia thing to do.

Even Todoroki voiced some worry, though he was way easier to mislead. It was kind of funny how he just was like 'Okay, I just thought I should ask.' and left it at that.

And finally Aizawa walked up to me after class.
Even though I was prepared for it, just to be sure, I knew it must be something else.
And it was.
Aizawa warned me to train more for the sports festival, saying I had to give it my best shot.

I knew though, that I could make it to the top three or I'd become a target to the league of villains.

...
No, I wasn't going to let myself get caught, come on!
I wasn't simping on any of them... except for— no. Just no.

As I walked home, I couldn't keep in a snort at these thoughts.
The small laugh had me smile once more. Even though I was feeling like shit, the world around me wasn't. Or well, the world I was living wasn't.
I understood the many flaws in the hero society but it accents the story— I'll stop ranting already.

Back in the apartment, the world spun around me before I gave up before I tried and once more had to clean up a bloody mess.
My sigh wasn't a happy one as I threw away the bloodied towel. It wasn't going to be me who would clean it.

Aizawa finally came home and with my help the apartment got cleaned up a bit more.
Though, Aizawa had noticed me already having done some stuff.

Finally Aizawa went to put out the trash.
I smiled and jumped to the trash, "I'll do it!"

At my eagerness, Aizawa raised an eyebrow, "Are you hiding something?"

This made me flinch and Aizawa noticed before he sighed.

God, the facade was over before it began.
As my smile fell, Aizawa gestured for me to step aside before he took one look in the trash.

Another sigh escaped Aizawa before he gave me a sympathetic look.
The bloody paper was a certain indication of what I had done, cutting.
With my eyes turning down I almost missed the hand that reached to my hair.

"You're allowed to tell me."

I shook my head as I once more felt tears coming.

"Why not?"

Gripping my shaking hands, I took a small breath.
"I don't want to get kicked out again."

It was like I was a kid again as Aizawa gave me a tight hug.
"I won't do that, kid."

It was those words which finally fixed the shitty mood as I hugged Aizawa back tightly.

So desperately did I want to pretend like my past simply didn't exist, but pretending didn't make it disappear.

As Aizawa let go I stepped back, trying to rub my eyes to stop the tears.

"You want some coffee?"

I smiled, "Maybe later."
As relieved as I felt, I didn't feel desperate for anything anymore.

I had missed Aizawa's smile as I turned to the stove to start dinner.
In fact, I had missed at all the fact that I had just said that I wasn't in the mood for coffee. In a way, that was mentally a huge improvement.

Great job me.