Boundless Limits {B.Durran}

09

Standing in formation the next morning, listening to the death roll is no longer not going to matter. Tierney knows that from now on, she'll know a lot of the names appearing on the roll.

It doesn't help that the death roll is longer than usual, their first trial on the Gauntlet is always going to be a course of death. The Gauntlet is the major hurdle to get past as a first-year cadet, unworthy of the title of rider.

The Gauntlet is designed to weed out the cadets who won't be suitable to ride a dragon, whatever made them fall, would have killed them if they fell from a dragon.

It's easier to think of it as a form of mercy, cadets dying now save the dragon from the pain of choosing a rider that isn't suitable and having their rider die. It saves the rider from feeling the pain of falling from their dragon.

It's better to think they'll be better off with Malek. It makes it easier to bear with the pain, but it never gets rid of it. 

Rhiannon shifts her weight from where she stands in front of Tierney and she abruptly sniffles, the motion jerking her shoulders. "Aurelie Donan." The scribe speaks and Tierney watches as Violet lifts a hand to wipe a tear away, trying hard not to come undone.

...

"You're an emotionless prick, you know." Ciaran sniffles, ruining the tease in his tone as his hands move to wipe his eyes.

"Of course, I know," Tierney replies from where she sits on the bed next to Ciarin in an empty first-year dorm room, his head resting on her shoulder as he stares at the wall.

One arm is wrapped around his back one of his is around hers, and the other hands are clasped together. Tierney rubs her thumb up and down his hand in a soothing motion as she rubs his back.

"I'm happy that you care." She tells him, he lost another from his squad, one he was particularly close to and it broke him more than the rest.

"I wish I didn't." He says, burying his head into the crook of her neck, and closing his eyes as he tries to calm himself down. He will be seen as weak if others see him crying this way, which is why they snuck into an empty dorm room during downtime.

"You wouldn't," Tierney tells him resting her head on his, her eyes trailing over his hunched and quaking back. "This makes you, you. Knowing you're still compassionate this way makes me know that you're my Ciaran."

"Your Ciaran?" He splutters a laugh but it dies as quickly as it came.

"The same Ciaran I came here with, the same Ciaran I've known and loved since we were little. My Ciaran." She tells him firmly, squeezing his hand. "Father used to say, the first year at the rider's quadrant is the year where they break you, shed your armour until who you are by the second year is who you really are at your core. They shed your niceties and masks and leave you bare."

"And I'm still your Ciaran?" He asks, his voice is still shaky but he has stopped crying so Tierney knows he is feeling better, even if it isn't by much.

"You're Ciaran Cuanach, the same boy we used to sneak into abandoned places with, scared of ghosts but not of breaking into running places. The same Ciaran who's been by my side for as long as I remember." Her voice is soft, Ciaran can't recall the last time she used this tone. "You're not mine. But you are my Ciaran. The Ciaran I would happily die beside."

Ciaran lifts his head and makes eye contact with her, a small smile lingering on his lips. "I'll be your Ciaran as long as you'll always be my Tierney."