TANGLED PLANS

21

Justin has asked me out on another date for the following Sunday. He had apologized for not speaking to me much at the first one. He said that he got caught up on asking my brother and Max about football but he wnats to make it up to me. That thought is exciting but I'm also nervous. 

Aside from the nerves, I also feel guilty about the way it had gone with Max. I knew that I was going out of line there and since then he hadn't been looking at me much. I'm glad that it gives me an opportunity to get rid of my cursh for him but it also makes me feel horrible. I didn't wanrt to get rid of my feelings at the expeoese of him being mamd at me. That wasn't a good feeling. The fact of the matter is that Max has always treated me nicely whether that be because I'm Brayden's younger sister or that he is just a nice guy, I couldn't be okay with our sutution. 

I didn't feel good knowing that I had made him feel bad and haven't even apologozed for it. That is why I'm siting at the kitchen table eating  pizza while picking at the box. The boys are in the living room watching a game together and I could hear them yelling at the television as I eat my own food. Quilt is a strong thing; it makes you feel awful. 

I put my feet down off the leg of the chair and go to make a move. My brother had gotten a phone call and I heard him exit the house to talk to said person. The person was defintily his girlfriend which is the only reason he picked up. Brayden was prone to not answering his phone calls, once having not answered my phone calls for an  entire day. He claims that he knew I was safe at home and that I didn't need him. Which to be fair, I didn't need him, I had wanted him to buy me ice cream. 

I ignore my thoughts of this being a bad idea and pick the box of pizza as I get off my seat. I had a plan: go up to him and ask if he wanted the slice of pizza while forcing him into a conversation where I would apologize. I pull the tank top down and walk into the living room to find him watching the television with a hand on his lap. His other hand rested on the arm of the couch. He looked peaceful as he watched the game, the only thing bothering him was that his hair kept falling imto his face. 

I tell myself to walk over to him and once I do, I outstretch the box of pizza out to him. Max's eyes shift to the pizza box as soon as it is in his face and that's when I realize I shoved it in his face. "Um", I say as I take the box away.

"I don't want it", Max says quickly as he turns back to the televison. This was harder and more nerve wracking than I thought it would be. I tuck my hair behind my ear and say, "Um." He doesn't respond to all of tries at speaking which I am both glad and mad about at the same time. I'm kind of mad that he was ignoring my presence at the same time I'm glad he isn't calling me out on my ridiculous attempts at speaking.

I take a seat next to him instead and place the box on the coffee table. His eyes glance at the spot that was non existent in between us and then he shifts his attention to my face. "Can we talk?", I ask softly and watch as he picks his shoulders up in a nonchalant shrug. As if I didn't want to throw myself off a roof then.

I put my hand out and play with the ring that I had bought a few days ago. "So um, remember the double date we went on?"

"Yeah, the one where you got all defensive when I was trying to help you?", Max asks in a retort and even thoihh his voice doesn't hold anything to it, the words make my cheeks heat up in guilt. I nod and say, "Well, Max, I didn't mean to say that."

"I get it", he says and then looks past me again.

"But", I say and then chew on my bottom lip. He didn't look like he was fine, his head was turned to the television and his jaws were set. He looked good, he always did, but this was how he looked when he had a hint of anger. "You don't look like you're fine", I say softly and he looks at me.