TANGLED PLANS

22

"Do you mean that?", I ask Max after a second and cannot seem to keep the small smile on my face. I was so shocked about what he said, about him saying that his happiness wasn't worth me being bullied for. That was the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. My betraying heart hammered in my chest as I stored away yet another happy memory of Max.

The offer for him saying he would kiss me in order for me to not be totally new at it with Justin tomorrow couldn't work now. There was no way that I would be able to let my lips touch Max's without him knowing about how I truly felt about him. I think that maybe if he kissed me, I would melt in a puddle right at his feet and not feel shame.

"Oh you are really nervous", Max says after nodding at the question I had asked earlier. The way he was acting nonchalant about saying such a nice line makes this situation even worse. How could he say such a good thing and expect for me to not fall for him even more than I already did? Not saying that I knew what I was falling for— or in— because I didn't have much experience about anything.

I hum when I raelize he said something afterwards and his words come back to me. He was assuming that I was nervous and that was true. Only he thought I was nervous about kissing Justin tomorrow when I reality that was true, yes, but I was also nervous about the fact that we were sitting together and having this conversation.

I press my lips together and Max says, "It's fine, Daisy. Kisses are not at all they make it out to be."

That didn't make my romantic heart feel better. I had alwayss dreamed of my heart warming when I had my first kiss. Max talked about the subject like out was nothing and since he was very much more experienced it made me believe him.

Max's eyes widen when my frown deepens and he has a bewildered expression on his face when he says,  "Or maybe it is. But for me, well, it had never been top crazy."

"Maybe you just don't realize it", I tell him as I pick the corner of my lips up. "You seemed rather happy kissing Ashlyn."

Max looks away from me and then says, "Can we maybe not mention her?"

"Why? Did she hurt you?"

"No, being with her made me realize I spent a great deal of time chasing her when I shouldn't have."

"You chased her?", I ask with shock in my voice because it didn't make sense. It was Max who had talked about kissing and dating as a very nuetral thing, I didn't think it would be him wanting a relationship.

Max turns his head back to me and gives me a small smile. "I may have wanted to be more with her."

"That's why you were saddened when I mentioned you not knowing anything about dating", I say in a whisper because I didn't want him to hear me. He does hear me but he only nods in answer.

"Anyway", I say and then put my hand under my thigh as I look at him. It felt eerily quiet here now, like everything had changed in the atmosphere all of a sudden. "Justin and I will probably have a mild first kiss. You're right, it will be fine."

"I didn't say that for you to not want the kiss waiting to happen to not mean anything", the guy beside me says with a frown. "Daisy, if you want it to mean so much, then do it. Don't follow my words."

I pull a shoulder up and drop it in a shrug and say, "Well I don't know. I have no idea on how the first kiss will go anyway."

"Are you scared about it?", Max asks and I look into his eyes to find the genuinely in his eyes. He was trying to make sure that I had felt completely okay with this situation and it made me smile. I liked that he was caring about me again. My betraying heart (one where I sport a crush on him) had missed it but the heart where I've known him since I was seven years old missed him as well.