TANGLED PLANS

24

I'm so embarrassed.

The incident in the movie theathre alone was already humiliating, but then when I went up to Max and blamed it all on him? Worse. I knew that my initial reason to go yell at a guy who wasn't even responsible for my own actions was because of how the day before had unfolded.

The day before, Max had taught me how to kiss someone and even showed me. He had also told me how to kiss someone and how to know they were going to kiss you. I had followed his instructions; I had looked for the signs he gave me.

That's why I went up to him and yelled at him. That's why I didn't feel the initial embarrassment while it was happening. I didn't know how or why the movie theater incident had happened, and I needed to find a solution. Attacking a poor guy was the answer. I don't know how hard I hit him, but I did know that it was hard enough for Max to hold on to my wrist and add pressure.

As I lay in bed that night, my mind was preoccupied with the past hour of my life, and I had a hand on my right wrist. He hadn't held me strong enough to leave a bruise, but enough to make me feel it for a while after. His hold and his eyes peering through mine were enough to make me want to fling myself out the window.

The fact that Justin hadn't kissed me and I had closed my eyes and waited for him to make me stay up the whole night. I tossed and turned the whole night, but no side was easy to turn to. One side was the incident in the movie Theatre, and the other side was the fact that I had hit Max. None of those sides were acceptable—both of them were embarrassing enough to keep my mind awake.

Therefore, when I wake up the next day, I am running on less than four hours of sleep. I hate that it took my brain so long to fall asleep on some nights. When I head to the bathroom to get ready for the day, I find that my eyes are puffy, despite not having cried last night. After the one tear that slipped out of my eyes from frustration, I hadn't felt the need to let more tears out.

The mortification was bigger than any other emotion I was feeling.

I sigh in the mirror at my puffy eyes and decide to take a shower in order to feel better. Using cold water for showering is not something I should've been putting myself through today, but I had. Once I'm out and feeling fresh, I brush my teeth and wash my face in the sink. I cannot wash my face in the shower; I never completely feel clean face-wise.

After I am done, I head to my bedroom to pick out an outfit. I settle on a crewneck with some leggings and call it a day. I'm not in the mood to put on anything that is dressier. I pull my hair into a ponytail and hope that it is high enough to the point where it looks like I tried. After getting the curt bangs situated, I get started on the makeup.

It turns out I have to put on many layers of concealer in order to cover my undereyes. Once I'm done, I grab my backpack and walk out of my room. There are about ten minutes until we have to leave for school, so it's a surprise to me that my brother's room is closed. In fact, I hadn't heard it open once, and he didn't fight with me for the bathroom today.

He must have overslept today. Sighing, I drag myself to the room on the other side of the hallway and knock on the door. "Brayden!" I'm shouting as I pound my fist into the door. When no answer comes, I put my hand on the doorknob. "Are you dressed in there?" I ask him in warning because there was a time when I walked in his room with him not dressed, and it still hurts my eyes to think about it.

"Brayden! I'm coming in, I say, and then place a hand on my eyes as I turn the doorknob, opening the door. When my brother's bed comes into view and he is in bed, I take my hand off my eyes completely. I walk over to the bed to find my brother sleeping peacefully.

I try not to let another sigh out and put my hands on his shoulder. "Brayden! It's Monday at 7:15 in the morning. Wake up." After several shakes and a couple of groans in protest, my brother opens his eyes. I cross my hands across my chest and say, "Good morning, your highness. Care to join me in going to school today?"