'Til I Found You - (A Nathan Sykes Love Story)

Chapter 12 - My Mum

When I was younger, I used come home from school in Winter and mum would make me hot chocolate with cream and little tiny marshmallows. We'd sit by the fire all evening, order a take-away and watch The Lion King. The moral of the story is that in the end, right will always triumph over evil, but more importantly, life goes on. When I was younger, I never really believed that. Many an evening, I ran home in the pouring rain, unable to see through blurred vision. I could never see without my glasses and they knew that so they'd see them and snap them into pieces. That wasn't what hurt the most. These bullies knew about my dad and they thrived on his lack of existence in my life. They'd form a circle around me, hold hands and chant 'Freya has no Daddy, go and run home to Mummy.' That's what I did. I always fell into their trap and ran home to her, crying uncontrollably. She always told me that everything would end up okay in the end, but all I ever wanted was my dad. I'd cry myself to sleep every night, wanting him there. Mum would drag me down the stairs and stand me inform of the front door, telling me that one day he would walk through it but he never did. She lied.

When everything went downhill with mum and her drinking, Nathan became my knight in shining armour. I had this relationship with him that was stronger and more special than the relationship I would have with him if I was dating him. It would still be special dating him though. Any girl would be lucky to have him. He'd treat her like a princess. He always knew the way to my heart. When mum was at her worst, so was I. I was always a picky eater, but I began to take things too far. I hardly eat. I was always exercising, even when I was sick and I was sick a lot. I became pale and thin, nothing like the old me. Nathan was the only one who noticed it. He forced me to eat, but when his back was turned, I forced myself to get sick. One thing led to another, and I was bulimic and anorexic. When I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. He saw my cuts. I thought that it was a nail in the coffin moment, but it wasn't. He told me that in the end everything would be alright, and for once, I believed it. He forced me to go to counselling and after a while, it all stopped. I was almost back to my own self. Now, everything is shattered. Everything is getting worse, ten times worse.

I didn't think I'd ever face this situation. It wasn't how I had imagined it. I stood there facing her, tears streaming down my face. Her face was stone cold and pale. She didn't look like my mother, but she wasn't really. It was just a body. 'Is it her?' Asked the mystery voice. I turned to face him and saw Nathan. 'She's dead. My mothers dead' I whispered. I fell into his arms, not caring about his earlier disappearance. 'I want to know what happened her. I need to know what happened her' I whispered. He made circular motions with his hand along my back bone, preventing the tears momentarily. 'You don't need to know Frey. Honestly , you don't need to know' he replied. 'You know?' I asked. I looked up at him as he nodded. 'I got a phone call from your neighbour after I was released, looking for you' he informed me. I pulled my top around my body and folded my arms. I felt dirty not having changed in days, but I felt even worse when I saw what my mum was wearing. She was still in her outfit for my graduation days previous. 'Will I take you home?' He asked. I nodded slowly.

I took her hand in mine as the tears came dripping down my face. No matter how much pain she had inflicted upon me, I still loved her. There was a part of my heart missing without my father, but then, the rest of it was taken. I had no one left. I ran my finger along her chiselled face. The drink had taken its toll on her appearance. She looked well beyond her 42 years. 'I love you mum. It's all my fault. I'm so so sorry. I should have stopped you drinking, but I didn't. I was selfish. I'm sorry mum. I'll see you again soon, I promise' I whispered before leaning in to kiss her. It was the last time that I would ever see her for a while; pity that the last time I saw her alive, was when we were on bad terms.

'Mum and Jess are waiting for us out in the car' he whispered putting a hand on my shoulder. I dried the stray tears and held his hand as he led me out. 'I'll take care of you Frey. We'll postpone the move until further notice and I'll take some time off, the boys will understand' he suggested. I just nodded and followed the led. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I didn't feel like moving in with him was a good idea anymore. I felt like home was going to be the only place that I was happy in, especially now in the circumstances.

I was greeted by grimace faces and warm hugs when we met Karen and Jess. Karen just shook her head at me. 'I'm so sorry for your loss Frey. If I knew that things were so bad, I would have done something. If only she hadn't fallen asleep on her back, it wouldn't have happened.' She just shook her head in disgust. 'What has that got to do with anything?' I asked. 'If only she hadn't fallen asleep on her back.' What was that supposed to mean. Nathan gave her a look of disgust. 'Oh it's nothing love, forget I said anything' she whispered, reassuring me with a small smile. 'Get in mum' Nathan ordered harshly.

The ride home was a quite one. Nobody said a word, probably because everyone was afraid to say a word out of place. The only sound that could be heard was the car chugging along the motorway at high speed, or the door being shut once we got home.

'Jess and I will wait in the car' Karen smiled. Nathan grabbed my hand and refused to let go and we walked along the path together. The front door had been left open just ajar. I sighed before entering, expecting a mess of bottles on the floor. That's exactly what I got, wine, vodka, whiskey and gin. She must have drunk her own weight in alcohol a day. It wasn't the house that I grew up in. It looked the same give or take one smashed photo frames on the floor, but it didn't feel the same. It wasn't the same without my mum.

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Hey guys! I know it seems a little confusing at the moment, but everything will soon become clear! Also, it's just a little warning. To be honest, I have a lot planned, but I think I may only get to chapter 20 with it. I don't want to drag it out for ye, because I understand that it can be annoying! And finally, I won't update until I get at least 10 votes on this update. It's just so I know that there is people out there who like my stuff! Oh and, the keyboard isn't really working on my iPad, so I can't reply to comments until during the week when I get on my laptop! It takes too long to set up my laptop so, I do try avoid using it now!  

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