'Til I Found You - (A Nathan Sykes Love Story)

Chapter 8 - When Drunkness Takes Over

The heat from the fire radiated from the hearth of the fire. His arms were wrapped tightly around my shoulders and his head was tightly held up against mine. I had that tingling feeling again, the one you feel when you’re with the person you love. The chime of the clock was our only distraction from the love we shared. The feeling was electric, actually having someone who cared deeply about you. There was no feeling out there that could out class or out power that tingling, warm feeling. It was immense.  I turned to face the television which had been muted. We watched the picture flash across the screen, still without the sound. It made things a little more romantic if there were no distractions, that was except the noisy clock. He intertwined his hands with mine, as I laid my head on his bare chest. His heart drummed gently in his rib cage, making me a little dozy. With the rain pelting off the windows outside, the heart excreting heat at a rapid pace and my best friend there to share the moment with, everything was perfect; that was until there was knock at the door, well that’s what I thought it was anyway.

I snapped out of my dream just as the knock sounded. I closed my eyes with the pain only to realise that there was not knock at the door, it was actually my head pounding. My dream was perfect up until the moment I had to wake up. My upper left arm ached just like my stomach. As I rubbed my eyes, the realisation hit me. I was not in my own bed or even Nathan’s bed but a hospital bed. The plain white walls were nauseating, causing my head to spin even more and my stomach to turn. My left arm was attached to a drip, supplying my body with fluids. My breathing was slow but dented by the plastic tubes that entered my body via my nose. I sunk back into the bed, not having anyone to talk to or anything to do. The reason for my hospital stay remained unknown to me and the events of the previous night were a blur. It was like an episode of CSI trying to piece together the jigsaw. As I lay there silent and motionless, piece by piece that jigsaw was looking complete.

‘Nathan, what are you doing hiding in the bushes at this hour of the night? You do realise that I don’t bite hard? I only nibble at the skin!’ I joked pulling him out of the bushes.

He dusted himself off and fixed his shirt before shrugging gently. His eyes were wet and his face red. His upper lip trembled and before long he was crying into my shoulder. I didn’t know what to do but whisper ‘there, there’ and pat his back gently. He was so overcome with emotion that he was nearly choking due to the bucket loads of tears he was shedding. My top became moist and soon enough I was struggling to hold back the tears myself! It was like a tear fest only I had no idea why we were crying. I ran my finger through his soft, wispy brown hair, as his crying slowly came to a halt. He looked at me with puppy dog eyes as to say ‘forgive me?’  

‘Nath, what’s up?’ I asked running my hand through his hair again.

‘Why Frey?’ he asked sternly.

‘Why what Nath?’ I asked a little confused.

He paused for a bit, kicking the ground a little with his foot. ‘Why are you self- harming?’ he whispered.

I gulped hard. It was really self-harming was it? The salt challenge was something a lot of people did. I guess they see it as a bit of fun and a challenge but my reason for it was a little different. I would consider it self -harming though. Well, maybe it was.

‘I guess the physical pain is combatting the mental and emotional pain I’m feeling on the inside. The pain is bearable, unlike what’s going on deep down. All this stuff to do with my mother is really getting me down, especially now that I’m old enough to understand that she’s going down the same path as she did before. I guess not knowing who my father is, isn’t helping either. Everyone needs a father figure in their life, and I don’t really have one. It’s sad really that I’ve turned to this, but I have. My life is shit and nobody understands that. Everyone but me seems to be going somewhere with their lives but here I am stuck with an alcoholic mother, about to enrol in a college course I don’t want to do. I hate my life Nath, sometimes I just want to end it all’ I whispered.

It was hard to express my true feelings especially when they were so dark and deep. I couldn’t even tell my counsellor some of the things that I had just told Nathan. The tears dripped from my eyes but they were silent tears. It helped though. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I breathed a sigh of relax. It helped, but it didn’t ease the pain fully.

I returned to the tree house, quickly to be followed in my tracks by Nathan. I took a slug out of the bottle of vodka, before handing it to him. He studied the bottle for a bit, hesitating his next actions. He threw his head back against the hard wood before slugging some of the smooth substance that was the vodka. He squirmed as it burnt his throat but he brushed it off taking another sip. I started to become merry once we had finished the first bottle. Vodka was surprisingly easy to drink. The more I drank, the less use I obtained of my brain. My actions and words became unpredictable.

‘Frey, I… I thiiiinnnkkk you’rre aweesmmazing’ he stuttered, magically inventing his own word.

‘I loooove yoooou Frey’ he stuttered again.

A smug smile spread across my face. I blinked quickly before leaning in slowly. His lips looked so tempting. He leaned in slowly as our eyes met. Our lips touched, setting off the sparks between us. His tongue begged for entrance, which I granted freely. Our bodies grew closer, our hands intertwined. He tore our lips apart, licking his lips as we parted. All that was running through my head was ‘I just kissed my best friend… and I liked it.’

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For some reason, I'm not very happy with this chapter :'( It's rubbish, I know but sure, it will get better! 

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