I wish I could forget you - Bangchan

- Chapter 13 -

I don't know how it happened.

I was on a flight to New York.

My mother pestered me to the extent where I gave in. A part of me wanted to see you. A part of me never wanted to see those dimples of yours again.

It was a stretch to think that you would even be in love with me anymore, but my heart told me I knew I needed to do this. To finally settle things.

I slept for most of the flight, trying to distract my mind from the torment that was soon on it's way. 

- Arrival in New York -

I vowed to do this, but here I was. Stood in the middle of New York, everything so busy and bright. I wasn't sure where I was going to go, or what I should do next, but I remembered the name of the company you worked at. It was the most obvious place to first look for you. 

I put my hand out for a cab, rain starting to spit down on me. It reminded me of that day when we went to that restaurant. The only care we had was to be in each others arms for as long as possible.

I got into the next cab that stopped, heaving my bag inside with me. 

"Please take me to.. JNC music.." I say, wondering if I should just not go at all.

"Alright, lets get going." the driver states as he clicks the meter on.

The drive is fairly loud, the atmosphere very different to that of Colorado. I rested my head back on the seat, wondering what I was even going to say to you when I saw you. I probably should have planned it beforehand, but I liked to be spontaneous. And also there was the fact that I was just way too nervous to sit down and think about the situation.

It seemed liked seconds had passed by as the car pulled up to a large building. Large is an understatement. 

I payed the driver and slid out of the car, closing the door behind me.

My footsteps seemed slowed as I approached the company.

Memories of you came back to me. I almost turned around and left, but this was something I had to do. You had hurt me deeply, but I loved you. For you, for how you made me feel.

I entered the doors, it swung a little behind me as i walked into what seemed like a reception.

I cleared my throat a little and walked to the front desk.

I picked at the skin around my fingernails, my nerves seemingly overcoming me. 

"Hi there, by any chance do you know a Mr Bangchan?" I say, forcing myself to say the words I had so desperately been holding back.

"I'm not too sure, i'll check for you. The name seems familiar though." says the employee with a warm smile. "you can take a seat over there." she says as she points towards an area with a few chairs and a coffee table in.

I take a seat, my legs shaking. Why was I so anxious? I mean I knew why, but just thinking about seeing you again made my vision blur. 

"Hm, I can't see him on the system, hold on i'll get the manager." she says as she picks up the phone on her desk and dials a few numbers.

My anxiety rises at this. Why was he not on the system? Did I get the wrong place? I checked the name saved in my phone. No, this was definitely it. Maybe he worked somewhere else now?

My leg jittered as I sat.

"I think you can go through to see the Manager now." she says with an awkward expression on her face. I don't question this and walk towards the Manager's office. 

- Breathing is hard. When you cry so much, it makes you realize that breathing is hard -