Total Drama High School au {DISCONTINUINED}

Noah's Lament

Quick a/n: listen to Mirrorball, Nothing New and This is Me Trying by Taylor Swift while reading this chapter.

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Noah:

⚠️TW⚠️: Mentions of SH

What the fuck was that, Noah?

First, you dropped that seemingly perfect act that you held up your entire life, in front of everyone. Then, you storm off crying. What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking crybaby.

What would Mom and Dad say if they saw you like this? Throwing your usual hissy-fit, storming out of your class, and crying in front of everyone. You should know better Noah.

You don't care about the act you perfectly made for yourself. If you did, you would've just taken the punch, not making that huge scene in front of everyone.

But that's all it is: a stupid act that you perfectly made for yourself to perform for your parents and all of their stupid friends and your stupid siblings. The perfect child. He gets perfect grades. He does everything effortlessly and perfectly.

You had it all going for you Noah, but you threw it all away. Now what? You ruined everything. Like you always do. They're probably all talking about you. About how you're not so perfect after all.

I pulled out the compact mirror I stole from one of my sisters, opening it to reveal my tear-streaked face. Every last memory of my siblings came back to me.

How horrible they are. How they destroyed my self-esteem at such a young age. How they made me the sarcastic jerk I am today.

It's all their fault I'm so pressured to be the perfect child. If they were all able to pull themselves together and just follow the roles our parents gave us maybe it would all be different. Why couldn't they just act like me? If they were always so jealous of the love and admiration shown to me, why didn't they just act like me to earn it? They all had a chance to be the favorite child, but they all threw it away, so why do I have to always pay the price? They all had the opportunity. They gave it away, I took the chance. That's the way the world works, you gotta pick your battles before the battles pick you, so why do I have to suffer the consequences? I don't care that we're family. My siblings ruined my life, and for that, they are nothing to me. Sure, I guess I'd care if something were to happen to one of them, but other than that, I feel nothing for them. I feel no gratitude, happiness, or anything.

In all of my blinding rage, I screamed as I slammed the mirror on the concrete floor, watching it shatter into millions of pieces. I picked up one of the glass shards, tracing my finger on the sharp edges.

I don't know what came over me, but I brought the shard to my arm.

Don't do this Noah. Is this what your parents would've wanted? Who cares about them? They never cared about you so fuck them. You don't need them, it's time you realized that. No, they do care, if they didn't, why would they send you to this perfect school? To get rid of you—

And just like that, all of my rivaling thoughts just shut off as soon as I slid the glass against my wrist.

It felt horrible, but I liked the pain. It felt so right and yet so wrong at the same time. I watched as the blood slowly started to drip off of my arm and fall on the ground, staining the concrete.

I smiled bitterly as the glass started to turn a translucent red and my blood started to seep through my shirt, making the blood more noticeable as I drew the sharp glass against my wrist another time.

It shut off all of my thoughts. There was nothing there anymore, just emptiness. It didn't feel good, but it did. It was horrible but I needed more, and I dropped ever I believed in as I slid the glass across my arm, making more blood slowly drip off.

"Noah!" I heard someone call out. Fuck. Now what are you gonna do? I took a paper from my bag and cleaned off the blood as much as I could. I chucked the glass into a nearby bush.

"Noah! Where are you?" I heard the same voice call out again. Courtney appeared from behind me. She saw me standing in front of her and grabbed my arm before I could dash off. I winced slightly at the pain, but Courtney noticed it. She released her grip on my arm and glanced at my arm and the red line that was still there, spreading more and more through my shirt.

"Why'd you do it?" Courtney softly asked me. I don't know what happened to me after, but I just broke down crying. "I just can't do this anymore Court. I can't keep up this act of the perfect child who doesn't do anything wrong. I can't keep up this impossible wish of my parents. I can't do anything right. What type of perfect child storms out of their class as soon as something goes wrong? Imagine if my parents found out. What would they think of their perfect son then? What would everyone think then?" I asked through my muffled sobs.

"You know what? Your parents are pissing me off. They're such assholes, so fuck what they think. You're allowed to feel upset after what that hammerhead shark said to you. So what if you're parents found out? No one likes them anyway. Fuck 'em. No one expects you to be perfect. Who cares about what that highlighter or what anyone else has to say about you? You have me, Gwen, Heather, Izzy, and Eva. And if anyone else has something they wanna say, then they're gonna have to deal with us. Heather already started beating up Duncan, so if you wanna go and see what's happening..." Courtney finished her pep talk on why my parents are shit.

I didn't want to go back to class, but I did wanna see Heather kick Duncan's ass, so I eventually gave in, walking back to class with Courtney.

We finally got back to the gym and saw Eva and Izzy slapping the shit outta Duncan who was already on the floor. "Woah, guys, calm down!" I shouted running next to them. "I am so disappointed in you two, beating up people and ruining the reps of people I hate without me," I said as a grin slowly grew on my face.

I kicked Duncan in the Kiwis as hard as I possibly could before walking back to the bleachers with Gwen. "Where's Coach Ryan?" I asked pulling out my book. "He and Heather went to go find you because Court was taking forever. Or, he's sending Heather to Headmaster Mclean's office for beating up Duncan," Gwen answered. I chuckled slightly at her answer and turned my head to Duncan who was still getting beat up by Izzy and Eva. Ain't karma a real bitch, eh? If only it hit my siblings like a truck.

Time Skip <3

Classes were finally over, and I could peacefully make my way to my dorm with Court, Heather, Izzy, Eva, and Gwen. I unlocked the door and we all sat in the living room to do our homework. "I'm guessing you have some sort of plan on how to get back at Duncan," Heather said. "Of course, I do," I started saying opening my laptop and pulling out a hard drive before continuing, "I just need the right amount of dirt on him. No one messes with me and gets away with an unharmed reputation." I finished saying with a sly smirk on my face.

I logged into Duncan's account (it was simple, they make it too easy for me sometimes), and investigated everything that his history would reveal to me. I kept scrolling through everything until I found something that piqued my interest.

All I needed was to talk to a good friend of mine and tell her this. This is gonna ruin Duncan, and I'm going to love it.

Oh, Duncan, when I'm done, you're gonna regret ever saying anything to me.

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Hi! How was this chapter? What do you think Noah's gonna do to Duncan? Comment your ideas!

I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter!

Love,

Ashley<3

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