Asperity - Daryl Dixon

XIX

"You can take those stitches out yourself in a week or so." While Hershel tended to Allen's wounds, the groups continued their introductions. After a few minutes, Beth entered the room with Judith in her arms, catching the interest of Tyreese's group, particularly Sasha. "How old is the baby?" Hershel took it upon himself to answer, "Barely a week." Vanessa couldn't help but stiffen at the reminder, her mind briefly flashing to Lori, who never got the chance to meet her own daughter.

"To be honest, we never thought we'd see another baby," Sasha continued, his eyes reflecting the weight of their journey. Vanessa understood the sentiment; bringing new life into a world overrun by death seemed like an anomaly. "How are you feeling?" Sasha asked Beth, assuming she was the baby's mother. "Where's the mother ?" The room tensed as no one answered.

"I'm sorry," Sasha acknowledged the sensitive atmosphere. Vanessa instinctively moved closer to Carl, offering silent comfort to the young boy who had just lost his mother. "Man, you people have been through the mill," Tyreese commented. Hershel, responding to the shared trauma and getting up on his crutches, added, "Haven't we all?"

"It's only getting worse out there. Dead are everywhere. And it's only making the living less like the living." Tyreese said before Sasha added "You're the only decent folks we've come across." As Sasha expressed gratitude for finding the only decent group they had met so far, Vanessa excused herself from the room. She was in no mood for talking. The weight of recent events pressed heavily on her, and she needed a moment to collect her thoughts.

~~~

Heading to the balcony where she had spent a quiet night with Daryl, Vanessa sought solace in the familiar. Lighting a cigarette, she tried to redirect her mind, wondering about the fate of the group sent to Woodbury. Each drag provided a fleeting distraction, but her thoughts inevitably circled back to those they had lost. She wondered if the other had made it out safely of the saving mission, her mind continued to wander and she found herself thinking about Glenn and Maggie feeling guilty that she wasn't even there when it happened, she couldn't help but think that if she was there then maybe things would've been different.
But she knew that didn't make any sense, first because she was trapped in that room with Carol when it happened and second, because even if she came with them, the results would've probably been the same, except that she would've been taken with them.

Then, she thought about T-dog. She had been looking for his body as soon as she got better but she couldn't find it, she wasn't surprised, he probably turned and was now wandering alone in the lower levels of the prison. But it pained her to know that his grave was empty, she felt like he deserved better, she wanted to go look for him again but she knew it wouldn't be wise in their situation, with the major part of the group away, she couldn't risk getting lost again.

A wave of grief washed over her. She thought of Glenn and Maggie enduring unimaginable torment, T-Dog's empty grave, Lori's absence, her brother's sacrifice and the uncertain fate of the others. The tears came unbidden, and Vanessa found herself crying for the losses, both recent and longstanding. Unbeknownst to her, Carol quietly approached.

Feeling arms gently envelop her shoulders, Vanessa recognized the comforting touch. It was Carol. Unable to hold back the emotional tide any longer, even if she didn't like being seen in that state, Vanessa let herself cry in the arms of the woman who had become a pillar of strength in these trying times.

"Shhh, it's okay, honey. You can cry," Carol reassured her. They stayed like that, a silent understanding passing between them, the tears serving as a release for the burdens they carried. Eventually, Vanessa pulled away, offering a grateful smile. "Thank you."

"No problem. Wanna tell me what's on your mind?" Carol asked as they both sat on the balcony floor. Vanessa lit another cigarette, offering one to Carol, who declined. "I'm not sure, actually. There's too much going on." Vanessa took a drag, her thoughts racing.