My friend doesn't like me. And I can't get over it. I know I shouldn't care, but friends seem to *matter* in the human realm. They seem to matter above all else. So I feel bad, like she doesn't like me because of me. I should have been better.
What does it mean to be better? Well. In reality, there are STANDARDS. "Objective" (socially constructed) measures of things. NORMS. People come together and decide: this is good, this is average, this is bad. According to reality, I am bad at being a friend, and a person. 1) Because I am quiet, shy, non-assertive (bad). 2) Because I am uninteresting and I don't work hard, I am lazy (bad).
The problem with reality, is that everyone agrees on it (except me). So if I say to her: "well I don't think I am a bad friend or a bad person", she probably won't agree.
YOU ARE READING
Story by Person who can rawr
RandomI write in here when I feel insane. Read this if you want an uncomfortable trip down the crappy slumbering parts of the human neuronal slush. An ode self-hatred.
