How can a boy not love, and yet it feels like my entire future is in his hands? My existence is captivated by the motions of his soul, trying to figure him out, as though it would bring out all the secrets of life. I don't know why my life feels like a prison, and I'm desperately looking for a key... it just happened to be a boy.
I rock myself on my bed going insane in my pathetic existence. I want him to love me and yet I don't respect myself, I would hate me through his eyes.
I tattooed his name on my wrist. I don't know why, and it suddenly felt like the stupidest thing ever minutes after. Everything I do is stupid and he knows.
I'm lost in an abyss of requirements I may never meet. People that will never love me, situations that will never happen, *good* i will never reach. Everything that touches my fingers turns into failure. I'm the scriptural Devil, looking for *good*. I'm the epitome of cringe, of failure. Devil that won't get to share its mind, like a clumsy ugly villain in a city of angels.
Nothing feels real and I feel called to another villain: Draco. A devil so ruthless he won't love me.
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Story by Person who can rawr
RandomI write in here when I feel insane. Read this if you want an uncomfortable trip down the crappy slumbering parts of the human neuronal slush. An ode self-hatred.