Story by Person who can rawr

July 24th 2023

i don't care about your dreams girl. i don't care about what you say is the right way to live. you can shove all your perfection up your ass (your very fine ass).

it's been years and you taught me nothing. throw the towel. leave me.

maybe we can meet for a barbecue in 3 years.

you're a bit cute.

but i'm elsewhere

in the deep ocean, gargling the sand open-mouthed.

in the air.

you made me think i didn't have a place on Earth for years.

I'm still not sure man. Just piano-ing on my keyboard.

all these jocks make me doubt.

what makes us so different?

i've asked myself that since i was 14.

were you popular when I was 14? You still are now.

going to all the hostels and unis i said i'd go.

i said way too much to fit into a lifetime.

you did it and you feel cool.

i was anxious for so long - self-hating.

I don't know if you're aware of your self-hatred.

I wish I was my ex. He has a good life and he's handsome

He has the life I would have had.

I want his hair, his ease.

I want all things, and nothing cause I have it all.

Is life just coping?

Everything is a "coping skill".

I want to be Nature.

I know nothing better than the walls and the light.

I hate humans, they give me headaches

From trying to understand them, and i'm still bad at them

First time I read a book in years

All these literary folks know way more.

I'm fucked. A philosopher in a wall.

I act like a baby. I have parents.

And I'm lively.

I will never "get" anything.

Neither do the tiktok folks.

All the parties

And the unfucked guys

I remember when we were dancing in the sea at night

I want to be everything material. Still & stunning.

-----------------

at least microsoft word exists like WOOOOOOOWW.

Put it to sleep. If you can't deal anymore with this cellula, this object, this part, put it to sleep. Put it to sleep. Put it to sleep. Put it to sleep.

I am always a reject and that's more than fine.