Muse

"Warmth"

Yonna's pov:
Finally we reached home i went to my room directly to take a cold shower to throw away all the thoughts.I came out and saw unnie seating at my bed and there were two plates in front of her probably wanna eat her dinner with me .I walked to her sat behind her and asked "Why didn't you eat by yourself unnie or with eomma (mom) or appa(papa) she sighed and replied"cause i wanna eat with you i am so hungry so please can't we talk later and just eat".
"Hmm" i answered her.We ate our food with silence but it was still comfortable .After that unnie speak"Its okay you were right its just i want you to move on until when you're gonna be like this its been years".I sighed and avoiding eye contact i answered "I had moved on already unnie other wise I wouldn't be able to live but still i have alot questions but i don't have courage to ask what if he gave me an answer i am scared of" ,"What if i had to go through all the things again i am scared unnie i know i never shared it before but i am still scared of every single thing I don't show my emotions so people can't find out whatever is going on with me ","Its not like I didn't tried after all that i tried but still i got more scars unnie now i can't let anyone enter my life so at the end they can't left me all alone". "I am okay and i will be fine ,see didn't i look more healthier and stronger now" ."What about happiness and love yonna?"she asked. "I am happy unnie and about love it didn't exist for me it was never the word "I love you" is it self a joke for me"i replied.

"Okay" ,"Good night sweety" was all that she said before leaving me all alone .
I tried to sleep leaving all the thoughts aside which were killing me every single second of my life but still i was living ,with a thought "that i am worthy no matter what i am worthy and lovable and i will cherish myself i am all alone and enough for myself".I took some sleeping pills and drifted to my deep slumber.

I wake up and after looking here and there i frowned cause it wasn't my room .I tried to get up but my head was aching so bad i was feeling dizzy until i heard a voice calling for me "Mam don't get up " ,"I cooked a soup for you just drink it you will feel better"I looked at a lady in her 30's looking at me holding tray with a bowl in it .I hummed and tried to straighten my posture she helped me and she placed the soup in front of me .She bowed again and was about to leave until i asked her "Who are you?"and "Where am i miss?" she looked back and answered "miss I don't know too i just know that our mam brought you back with her and she ordered me to make a soup for you cause you were sick".She bowed and left me all confused i don't remember anything after i left my home .

I took the first bite all confused and scared with the thoughts like "what if they had mixed something in it" or "what if they had just kidnapped me".All the thoughts went away when tasty warm soup went down my throat,it was so tasty that i didn't even hesitated a bit before drinking whole bowl .I was feeling freshed now ,I tried to look here and there found a beautiful huge mirror i approached it and looked at my reflection looking and feeling better . Now i tried to escape the room i walked down stairs admiring the beautiful house suddenly someone bumped into me i bowed and apologized "I am sorry ,I am really really sorry i was not trying to run its just because of my curiosity i left my room don't kill me i promise i will not try to run away ever again" i rapped out my whole part and looked up trying to peek at the person standing in front of me from my half closed eyes.I opened my both eyes and when i meet those eyes my whole world stopped my heart was running marathon some mosquitoes were jumping in my stomach i was to stunned to even speak or understand anything.He smiled and answered "I know i am beautiful but still its not good to stare at people like crazy"and i came back to earth with a thud sound which came from back i looked back and there was standing a beautiful and elegant lady in her 40's standing with terrified look on her face . "Eommo what happened are you okay"the boy asked while rushing towards her."Hmm but you ,i mean why are you here ?"she answered."Its just my friends cancel the plan so i came back to spend some time with you but who is she ?"he asked pointing a finger towards my direction.

Both of us are sitting on the couch and looking at the figure in front of us who is looking here and there without speaking a single word. "Eommo just say something please now i am getting scared"the boy next to me said.She replied "I am sorry and firstly promise me you will not scold me"."Hmm"was all he answered.She took a deep breath before replying"Its just i wanted some fresh air so i thought to go for shopping ,driver was not at home so i myself decided to drove the car everything was going well until a kid jumped in front of my car i was so shocked but still managed to press the breaks when i went out there was a girl hugging the kid tightly but suddenly a lady came i guess the kids mother she was about to call police but suddenly the girl fainted and i just brought her with me and she is sitting next to you right now".she finished and i got the glimpse of my memory.But suddenly the boy sitting next to me growled"Why the hell do you need to drove its not just first time eommo you are always so clumsy what if something bad had happened to you hn"he said the last few words holding back his tears."Sorry"was all she replied.But he hugged her and apologized for his behaviour.

Now here i am eating dinner with the unknown people's .I wouldn't be eating if these people didn't give me this as an apology meal.I sighed taking the first bite but the food was so amazing that i started eating eat fast until i coughed and the boy sitting next to me passed the water suddenly they both started laughing at me i looked at them all annoyed and started laughing with them.
I was leaving there house and said a goodbye to the lady as well as ajhumma who cooked an amazing food for us.The boy just came to drop me to the gate while offering me a drive which i denied.I bowed and said bye to him i was about to leave but taking me off guard he hugged me .And said"Hope we meet again and don't forget me"he left me and without even looking at me he walked away .I was all flustered and blushing until i felt tear rolling down my cheeks knowing the fact that i was craving for the warmth he gave me just for few seconds.

Suddenly i heard my alarms sound and i wake up with all the tears and sweat covering me .But this time i remembered everyone even me looking at my own reflection except the guy but i still remembered his arms warmth.I didn't wanna accept that it was more than the nightmares but now i am sacred of what was happening or about to happen.I was fighting with my thoughts until i heard some knocks at my door "Yonna wake up baby your unnie and i both are waiting for you at dinning table for breakfast come fast "and with that eommo left.I walked to bathroom with all the thoughts .I walk downstairs looked at eommo and unnie giving me a huge smile but i was all confused so i just hugged eommo but the warmth i felt in that hug it was not there i greeted her goodmorning i walked to unnie hugging her i greeted her too but it was not there too.I took my seat started eating my breakfast i finished it and left for college i spotted shua and minji both i walked to them and hugged both of them greeting them morning but it wasn't there the warmth ,the touch and the feeling nothing was there it was totally different hugging any of them i was so frustrated walking inside i just took my regular seat they both walked in sit beside me and shua asked"Yonna are you in a good mood today""Hmm "was all i answered.