Remember me || JHS ||

17.

 The next morning, I wake up to the warm rays of sunshine tickling my nose. Relaxed, I just lie there with my eyes closed, because I know that as soon as I get up and remove the protective blanket, the cold reality will hit me.

In the moment I lie there like this, it all seems like a bad dream, as soon as I get up none of this will have happened, my life will go on as usual and I will enjoy it all deeply.

But no.

A loud clang from the kitchen brings me back from my daydream to the here and now. With a sigh, I open my tired eyes and stare at the clock on Hobi's bedside table.

Sunday 8.17 am.

I force myself to leave the warm bed and stumble out of the door. Instead of going straight to the bathroom, I drop onto one of the chairs in the kitchen and rest my head, which seems heavier than a brick, on my arms.

"Good morning Yn" Hobi warbles as he switches on the coffee machine and then turns his attention back to the eggs in the pan in front of him. "Morning Hobi." I grumble with my eyes closed and fish for my phone in the pocket of Hobi's hoodie I'm wearing.

When I feel the square device in it, I take it out and switch it on. The only thing I see are a few messages from my eomma reminding me to come over for dinner tomorrow.

With a sigh, I put my it on the table and get up to go to the bathroom. However, I stop and look around searching. "What are you looking for?" Hobi asks, watching me rummage through my bag in the living room.

"My clothes." He laughs and as I look at him I see him pointing towards the bathroom, "I've hung them on the radiator, they should be dry by now.

I nod and without another word I walk past him to the bathroom.

After I've changed my clothes, combed my hair and brushed my teeth, I rejoin Hobi, who has made himself comfortable at the table. There are two plates of fried eggs and two cups of coffee on the table.

I sit down with him and take a sip of the black drink, relieved.

There is silence in the room while we eat, every now and then I notice Hobi staring at me but I blame it on the fact that I still look like shit from crying yesterday.

"Yn." When he calls me, I look over at him and notice that he seems nervous. I tilt my head questioningly as my mouth is stuffed full of egg.

"Do you, um well maybe want to do something today? We could go to the park and get some ice cream."

"I'm sorry Hobi, but I'd rather go home later." I said honestly, but I was sorry when I saw his smile disappear a little. I mean he's really doing his best here to look after me and cheer me up. But I just can't take any more, I needed a break from everything, at least for one day.

"It's okay, I understand. Do you want me to take you home later?" I nod and give him a grateful smile.

-

We're walking down the street to my apartment while Hobi types something on his phone.

I look at my surroundings and have the feeling that everyone isn't in such a good mood today. The gray clouds from last night are still hanging in the sky and blocking out the sun. There's no birdsong to be heard and the people coming towards us don't seem to be in the best of moods either.

"The boys want to know how you are, I haven't told them what happened yesterday and I won't if you don't want me to." His voice brings me out of my thoughts but I continue to stare ahead of me as I answer him.

"Go ahead and tell them, they'll find out eventually anyway. It's better sooner than later."

Actually, I don't want anyone to know, I want to forget everything and just pretend that nothing ever happened but I can't.

We walk on in silence, Hobi tries a few more times to start a conversation but the attempts all come to nothing.

Arriving in front of the multi-storey building where my apartment is, I say goodbye to him with a brief nod without saying anything else, turn around and enter the stairwell.

Without any strength, I drag myself up to the second floor, where I take a quick look out of the small round window set into the wall.

He is still standing at the bottom of the steps, looking up.

In the hallway of my apartment, I slip off my shoes, shuffle into my room and simply leave my backpack in the middle of the floor.

But as soon as I enter my room, I regret that I'm not just hiding in a corner.

Of course, my naive, stupid self... has placed pictures of Soo Hyun all over every wall and shelf.

With my thumb and forefinger, I pick up the picture frame that was on my table a moment ago and drop it in the garbage can in front of me. The next picture is from my shelf and as I'm about to throw it away too, I get a message.

A bitter laugh leaves my lips as I read the message. 'Hey baby, how are you?' He really still has the nerve to call me baby after what he's done!

Anger rises inside me and I feel hot tears running down my face once again. I throw the picture frame that I was holding in my hand a moment ago onto the floor in front of me and watch as the glass shatters into a thousand tiny pieces. Without giving it much thought, more follow.

Only when I'm sure I've spared him nothing do I let myself fall onto the floor, exhausted, not caring about the shards I curl up in a ball and just stare into space.