The musical story of Mr Spock and Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy.

Good At What You Do

Song : Talk To Me by Cavetown
Universe : Kelvin

Plot : After an away mission goes wrong, an Ensign is injured, and McCoy can't do anything to save him. After battling with his inner monologue for a few hours, he heads back home after a long few hours in his office, hoping to be able to wallow in his guilt with some cuddles. It's never that easy, is it?

Triggers : Death, Swearing, Guilt, Self Deprecation.

Relationship : Spock x McCoy (Dating)

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There was never a quiet moment on the enterprise. There was always something happening, usually dangerous, normally life threatening. It was just how it was in space. Sadly, it wasn't something one could really get used to. Every disaster was different, just as every injury was, just as every death. Leonard wished it was different.

As the ships primary physician, Dr. Leonard Horatio McCoy saw most of these disasters, mainly the ways in which they affected the crew. Luckily, injuries were usually small and easy to deal with. Not this time, though. This time, Leonard had failed. That's how he saw it anyway. 

It had been 9 hours since they commed him for an injured Ensign on the away mission, 8 hours since Dr. McCoy had started surgery to save him, 5 hours since the Ensign had been alive, 3 hours and 34 minutes since he had moved from his office. His back ached from sitting in the same position for hours, and his eyes stung from crying, but he didn't want to move. That was a lie. He did. He wanted to go and collapse in his bed, staying hidden from the world under his covers, it was just proving hard to do the longer he sat. The motivation disappearing everyone second he sat in that chair, but he knew he had too. He needed to lay down and sleep.

It took him a few more minutes, but eventually, he got up. Leonard knew Spock would be up waiting for him until he got back, and it was getting late. He stretched his limbs out for a moment as he stood from the chair and groaned slightly at his tired, aching muscles. It had been a long day, and his body knew that. Leonard sighed as he left his office, glancing around for a moment. Every time something like this happened, this place felt less and less like his kingdom, and he felt less and less like the almighty doctor people painted him as.

Instead of dwelling on that any longer than he had, Leonard began to make his way to his and Spock's quarters. They had only moved in with each other a few weeks ago and they were still getting used to living with one another, but no matterwho was home first, the other would be waiting. It was something they had quickly found comfort in, going home to someone who wanted them there. 

This time, though, Leonard felt anxiety pooling in his stomach as he got closer and closer to getting back. He knew Spock didn't blame him - at least the rational part of his brain did - but they had never dealt with something like this together before. He hadn't dealt with something like this the whole time him and Spock had been together, by some miracle, and he wasn't sure how to approach it. Leonard knew Spock was still getting used to being able to express his emotions, and he was still getting used to being able to help people with theirs, and shoving this all on him right now felt selfish. Spock was on the away mission. He was dealing with his own shit.

Before he knew it, Leonard was stood outside the door to their quarters. He took a deep breath before entering and decided to just head straight for the bed, face planting straight down into it with a groan. He had seen Spock sitting on the couch as he walked in, but he didn't have the energy to stay up and talk. He wanted to lay in bed and rot.