Lost ~ (Troyler AU)

Chapter 2|Rough Start

Troye.

*Time skip to the next Monday*

"BEEP BEEP!"
"Shut up!" I yell at my my alarm. I turn over and press my hand around to find it. I hum happily when it stops and I press my head back into my pillow. It isn't until I look over to see the time that I move. On the clock I read 6:56. "Shit!" I scream loud enough for my neighbors to hear. I'm supposed to be ready by 7:00 so my mom can drop me off. This is just temporary until she gets me a replacement car for the one I was forced to leave behind in Perth. I check the weather and run to my now situated closet. I grab a jumper that is a few sizes big along with a pair of black skinny jeans. I throw on the articles of clothing then search the bottom of my closest for my platform converse. I put them on and check the time. 7:03. Okay not too bad. I then sprint to the bathroom and instantly grab my hair gel and get to work. Once I have my desired quiff, I hurry out and sling my backpack on and grab my phone. I do a quick search check to make sure nothing important is left behind then run on out.

My mother is sitting in the kitchen on one of the bar stools she purchased for the huge island in the middle of the room.
"Ah finally." she sighs out.
"Sorry I overslept." I reply shyly.
She doesn't reply. Instead she grabs her keys and pushes me out the door.

The way to school was definitely tense. I was staring out the window thinking of how everything was going to go. I thought of many scenarios and not one of them was good. I was not looking forward to today at all. What if everyone hates me? What if they all bully me automatically? What if- I kept running different situations through my mind. When my mom reached the school, I felt my fear grow. I can't do this. I can't.
"Bye sweetie, have a good day." my mom cheered as if today was going to be enjoyable. Now was my turn to not reply. I just shoved my feet out the door and slammed it roughly to try and release some of my feelings. The truth is, nothing could have prepared me for what was inside that building.

Walking in was simple but when I was actually inside I felt as if I was going to pass out. "Oh dear." I thought starting to fall over when someone shoved past me instantly bring me back to the situation at hand. "Christ watch where you're going faggot." the voice hissed. Nope today was definitely not working out for me. I looked around some more and looked for the office so I could get my schedule. I found a sign pointing towards the location. My mind was going crazy with all of the bad scenes I pictured earlier. "No no no that is not happening." I mumbled. I didn't think anyone would hear until someone popped up next to me. "Haha look the new kid is worried! He's so scrawny I could smush him into the toilet bowl!" "Let's do it." another student added on. I turned on my heels and started jogging away. I'm never going to make it a whole year in this school.

I finally reached the door to the office. I sighed with relief as I stepped in, feeling way more safe than before. "Can I help you?" The lady behind the counter asked. "Uh yes I'm a new student and I need my schedule. My name is Troye Sivan." I said slowly making sure I was understandable. "Okay if you could take a seat it will be a minute." "Alright thanks." I smiled at her.

I turned around and saw a set of chairs. In one there was a boy with Ray Bans and blonde fluffy hair, styled into a quiff. He was wearing a button up and grey skinny jeans. His feet were turned in making him look like a cute little kid. I wasn't expecting him to say anything but I wanted him to at the same time. Then again he could be rude like every other person I have seen here so far. "People giving you trouble?" He asked. I jumped at the question. He wasn't being rude at all. This is a surprise. I looked over at him and saw him looking back at me. His eyes were gorgeous. They grey-blue colour pierced my mind. I realized I hadn't replied when he cleared his throat. Shit. What was the question? Oh okay I got it. He asked about people bothering me. "Y-yeah." I stuttered. Why was this happening? I'm making a fool of myself. "I know how you feel they've always been that way to me. It gets better." I frowned. Why would they bully him? He seemed like a nice person. Then again every popular person is rude and not nice at all. "Oh alright. My name is-" "Troye I have your schedule." The lady interrupted. "Oh I have to go I will see you around." I say to the boy. "Alright. Good luck, you're going to need it." Oh brother what does that mean?

I get up out of my seat and walk towards the front desk. "First bell is at 8:45. You have to be at your first class before second bell. I can see you have math first so um. Tyler can you help him? You guys have similar schedules." I turn to look for this Tyler person when I see the guy I've been talking to stand. "Sure I'd love to help." He chirped. She handed him my schedule and we were off.

"I will help you find your locker first. I recommend carrying stuff for your first three classes because we get a longer break between third and fourth period." He said as we strolled along. "I also recommend not taking everything these people say to heart because this math class is full of awful people. There's a seat in the back next to me if you want to sit there." He added. "Alright that's fine with me." I said back nervously.

He was very correct when he said the math class was bad. I got hit with books and multiple kids tried tripping me. "Haha the fag has girl shoes on." "Gross he's too skinny let's stuff McDonalds down his throat." "Why is he even alive he should kill himself." Tyler tugged me along to the seat in the back. "Is that his boyfriend. Ew I knew they were faggots." Someone added as I sat down. I didn't notice the tears until Tyler wiped one off of my cheek. "Hey hey don't let them get to you. They don't even know you." He tried to reassure me. "You don't either so who are you to say that?" I yelled earning more glares. "I know more than them." he protested. I let my head fall to the table and covered my ears. I started up a slamming pattern. My head hit harder each time. "Make it stop. Please just make it stop." I whispered to myself. I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped a little at the touch. "It's going to be okay." Tyler's voice rang soothingly.

The rest of the day went slightly better. I was happy to find that Tyler and I had five out of the eight classes together. The three where we were separate was easy. I just focused solely on the teacher and not what everyone was saying.

At the end of the day I ran to my locker. I saw a note taped to it. The noted said, "Go ahead and kill yourself. If you don't tomorrow is going to be hell for you, xox." I grabbed it and stuffed it into my backpack. I threw my homework in as well even though I knew I probably wouldn't be able to complete it. I can't focus on anything right now.

I slammed my locker shut and walked out of the nearest exit. I texted my mom stating that I was walking home. It could help clear my mind. There was a slight breeze. It felt nice running through my hair and dancing between my fingers. It was indeed very soothing.

The walk wasn't too long. It only took me fifteen minutes to reach my house. I walked in and noticed my siblings watching some cooking show. I ignored them and headed to my room. Not one of them glanced at me, showing how much they truly cared.

*TRIGGER WARNING*

In my room I slammed and then locked the door. I ran up the few steps and plopped my bag on the bed. I reached in and took out the note that was attached to my locker. I read over it over and over again. Nobody but Tyler likes me. Heck he might not even like me. I ripped the paper up and threw it away. My wrist itched and I scratched at it desperately. No I'm not doing that. But it might help. No n- yes. It will help. It can help me feel better.

I ran to the bathroom and immediately opened my drawer with my razors in it. I grabbed one of the refill blades and raked it across my skin right away. The pain was slight but it faded as my eyes watched the blood start trickling down my wrist. I quickly flung it into the sink noticing the blood about to drip. Ah, relief. I sighed out. I dragged the blade across a few more times, feeling relief with each drop of blood. I looked up into the mirror and noticed my figure. All I saw was fat. I ran the blade across again not looking down. I repeated the action again and again getting more angry with my figure with every passing moment. "Troye!" I heard a voice call. Whoever it was knocked on the door as well. "Uh one second!" I shouted back. Oh shit. My arm was mutilated. How would I hide this? Oh yeah, long sleeves. I rinsed it off with cold water. It stung but I couldn't let them know. I also made sure to clean the sink with a rag so nobody could see the mess I made. I looked back at my arm and a lot of the cuts wouldn't stop bleeding. I reached under the sink to find a bandage that I had kept from when I helped my friend back in Perth. She cut too. I remember her saying she didn't need it and that the one she had was fine. I still worry about her. Ugh I need to snap back to reality. I wrap the bandage around my arm and secure it. There now nobody will see the marks.

I flip the light switch and run out of the bathroom and down the stairs. I pull down my sleeve and open up the door. "We are leaving for the night! Mom has night shift and dad is sleeping on the couch downstairs so have fun by yourself!" Tyde squealed. He then ran down the spiral staircase leaving me behind. I sighed and closed the door. I headed back up and tucked myself in the bed. What a rough day.