Lost ~ (Troyler AU)

Chapter 13| Comfort

Troye

I desperately tried to comfort Tyler's shaking body. His head had drifted off of my shoulder and landed into his palms and his elbows that were propped up on his knees. My arms stretched around him as if I was the only thing holding the poor boy in front of me together.

"Tyler, it's okay. You're okay, that's over now. You are better now and not the same person you were then," I desperately tried to comfort him.
"But what if I've not changed? What if the old habits are back to break me?" He asked.
"Wha-what do you mean?" I stuttered, pulling his shoulders into my chest.
"The thoughts, th-they're back."

My heart felt to the ground and shattered, shards of it stabbing me everywhere. Pain seeped into my cold veins and made what was left of me throb. Tears ran down my cheeks and dropped upon Tyler's back. I could see his tears falling and colliding with his pants, creating patches of darkness on them.

In that moment I didn't use words to comfort him, instead I used my body language. I stood up and got off of the bed, breaking contact but I quickly made the connection again when I snaked my arms under his shoulders and lifted him up. His legs wrapped around my waist and his arms clang on to my back. I held him up with one of my arms by his thighs and the other rubbing his back. His tears soaked up into my shirt and mine dripped upon his back.

I stood there for about five minutes when I realized that I couldn't hold him that long. I backed up slowly and sat on his bed, keeping the same position the whole time. This allowed me to use one of my arms to massage his head whilst the other continued to run along his spine.

Tyler's cry soon thinned out and I soon stopped feeling more tears. His grip on me had weakened significantly, I was the one holding him there. I slowly let the top portion of his body fall back into only my arms. His eyes were glued shut and a soft breath escaped his lips, then was sucked back in. I picked him up once again and positioned his body onto the bed. He let out a small whimper when my touch left his body so I decided to climb behind his body and hug him close to my chest with my head resting on his pillow. I heard him sigh peacefully when I laid down. Comfortable, at last.

I thought about nothing but Tyler whilst laying there. I wished so badly that he could wake up feeling fine, no troubles, no worries, just living life the way it should be. Unfortunately this world isn't a wish granting factory and many wishes turn to dust, or disappear forever until those very wishes are forgotten and we don't remember the wish at all. The wishes we wished while blowing dandelions as kids are gone, forgotten, forever missing, diving down in the depths of oblivion, where we will all end up eventually.

I let my eyes droop to a closed position when I heard a small creak. I opened one eye and saw that Jackie was stepping inside of the room. I shut my eye as the sound of her footsteps got closer and closer. I then felt a warm blanket fall ontop of Tyler and I. I then felt lips pressed against my forehead. When they left they whispered, "Thank you so much baby. You're so good at taking care of people. I love you," into my ear. When I felt the breathing go away I opened my eye again, seeing Jackie's mouth on Tyler's head. She then turned and walked out of the room, closing the door. I felt safe there, lying in Tyler's bed, protected and loved by Jackie. There I let my eyes close with thoughts of love and peace swarming my head, and sleep took over.

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Jackie
*directly after Tyler tells Troye about his previous situation with anorexia*

I heard sobs coming from Tyler's room. I put the cake I was making in the oven and quietly tiptoed up to his bedroom.

"Tyler, it's okay. You're okay, that's over now. You are better now and not the same person you were then," Troye said.
"But what if I've not changed? What if the old habits are back to break me?" Tyler replied.
"Wha-what do you mean?"
"The thoughts, th-they're back."

I covered my mouth immediately as a sob formed in my throat. I rushed into my room and carefully closed the door, so nobody could hear it. I ran and sat down on my mattress, grabbing a pillow and pressing my face into it, crying. It hurt me so much to know that this was happening to my baby boy again. He didn't deserve to feel the pain, to hear the voices, to starve himself. He didn't deserve any of it. Maybe this time I could help him stop it right away because I know about it. Last time I didn't and I should have, oh gosh I was such a poor parent but I was too caught up with Spencer, his dad, and I didn't even notice and it all hit me like a train when I realized the issue.

The tears soon subsided and I got up off of the bed, letting the pillow hit the floor. I walked over to Tyler's room and pressed my ear against the door. I heard nothing but silence so I opened up the door and saw my baby boy being held by Troye. Their legs were tangled and there was no space between them. At that moment, motherly instincts kicked in and I walked to the foot of the bed and grabbed a fuzzy blanket, draping it over their bodies. I then walked over to Troye and kissed his forehead saying, "Thank you so much baby. You're so good at taking care of people. I love you."
I then moved my lips to Tyler's forehead. I removed them and took off his glasses, placing them on his bedside table. I then turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I walked downstairs and took out the cake that I had previously placed in the oven. It was done perfectly, that surprised me. I placed it onto the counter and got the icing I had made and spread it out evenly on the cake. I finished it off by adding blue accents to the white icing. When it was all completed I put the cake into a container and placed it inside of the refrigerator.

When everything was put away, I walked back up to my room and hit the bed, now very tired. I felt nothing but my mattress underneath my skull. Realization hit and I reached for the missing pillow on the floor. When my fingertips found it, I brought it up and sat it below my head.

Thoughts about Tyler filled my mind instantly when I closed my eyes. I was worried about him but we got through it once, we can get through it again. I imagined my son, happy, living his dreams in the world, and perfectly healthy. Images of him doing his dream job as a videographer filled my head and with that I fell asleep with my mind at ease.

A/N
Yo yo yo. I'm back! I hope this chapter wasn't too bad for you guys. I have been really caught up with homework but I've been doing my best to write as well! I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Xx