Echoes of a Shattered Connection

There's This Girl

We were never going to last, but I wish we did.
After all this time, you still saw me as a kid.
Maybe I do deserve someone else, but I always wanted you.
Even though you make me lose health, and make me feel blue.
It was you.
I don't want someone new.
Everything feels wrong now that you're gone.
I can't keep being strong, because of the way I long.
Are you going to check up on me? I'm not doing well.
Only you have the key to free me from this cell.
As angry as I am at you for hurting me in such way, I will always have so much of you in my heart.
And I will forever grieve the day we started to fall apart.
I will never regret you or say I wish I'd never met you, because once upon a time you were exactly what I needed.
And everything that escaped my mouth was true, I indeed loved you to the deepest.
You said you wouldn't leave me, I believed you.
Can't you see? I never wanted to argue.
I felt you leaving, even before you did.
But I kept believing, that you forced your love to be hid.
I should have known from the start it wouldn't work.
And that you will just turn out to be a lesson to learn.
You tore me from my peel, only to decide you weren't hungry.
You left me vulnerable.
You left me to rot.
You thought it was funny? Well it's not.
I don't even cry about it anymore, but the weight in my chest just keeps getting heavier.
And the thought of what we used to be before, makes my heart even messier.
I can't describe this feeling, is this even real?
I'm supposed to be healing, why do I feel so dull?
How do I let go of someone I never had?
I have never wanted a person so bad.
I will never love anyone the way I loved you.
You were the first person to bring to my life some hue.
I miss who you were that night.
I miss the person that tugged on my heart so tight.
I knew you weren't going to change, but I still held out hope that you would change your mind.
I decided to give you chances and wait, while pretending I'm blind.
I waited for you, I changed for you, did things you would never do for me.
For you I drew, and grew, and would go far beyond sea.
How do I say goodbye, when my heart still wants to hold on?
No matter how hard I try, I don't have the heart to let go of such bond.
I will wait for you forever, and I hate myself for that.
You can come to me whenever, always, even if much time could have passed.
You have no idea of the lengths I would go for you.
There is nothing I wouldn't do.
All I wanted for us was to not hurt.
Because I felt like we were built from the same dirt.
I really thought you would choose me in the end.
And you really valued me at least as your friend.
I don't want to believe you're a bad person.
You couldn't have wanted my state to worsen.
I just wish I was what you wanted.
And not something to keep you feeling haunted.
Maybe it's selfish to say, but I wish leaving me hurt you more.
I wish you tried harder to stay, and I was worth enough to you to be fought for.
Well, at least we are under the same sky.
So, we will never be able to truly say goodbye.
How much did I really mean to you?
Was I enough to make you feel blue, too?
Did you really move on so fast?
Was I the only one that wanted us to last?
When you look into stars, do you see me too?
Do you also wish things were different than they are? Because I never wanted them to be due.
It hurts the way it once felt right, and the way I can't go back.
You used to make me feel so bright.
Now all I feel is black.
Maybe in another universe, you didn't leave me.
I wish you didn't feel like a curse, and everything was the way it was supposed to be.
The little things don't seem to matter until they are gone.
Then you realise nothing else has mattered more.
If loving you is wrong, I never want to be right.
You are the place where I belong, you made me feel like I am alright.
If you liked me the way you said you did, why don't you feel how I do now?
Do you wish you could undid, those things I didn't allow?
Don't do this again, don't say things you don't mean.
My mind is going insane, and I'm only sixteen.
In some parallel universe, I know you tried harder to save what we had.
You fought to get all of this to reverse, and did you best to stop me from feeling sad.
Everything is so cold without the warmth of your voice.
But I really had no choice.
I wish I could hear you laugh once more. There is nothing else I could ask for.
I don't know how many more ways I can say, I wish you had stayed.