Wasteland // Kim Seungmin

39 - Are We Having A Rematch?

I couldn't have slept long, I only had enough time for one of my recurring nightmares about choking on my own bloody fingers. It was still early, barely dark outside. We were jolted awake in the same position we had fallen asleep in when we heard the shouting. It was muffled through the floor boards, but I could tell right away who had paid a visit.

Of course he did. It was the monster from my nightmare, here in the flesh. My stomach turned over as I looked up at Felix in horror.

His eyes were half-closed, but he quickly slid out of bed, walking straight to the door and going downstairs.

I deliberated trying to hide, but there was no point. If Seungmin cared about living, he wouldn't fight his way up here to kill me in a leader's house. If he didn't care about living anymore, then nothing was going to stop him. Big guy was big, yes, but I had a feeling that wouldn't faze Seungmin if he had his mind made up. Instead, I climbed off the bed myself, and crossed the room on shaky legs. I could hear their voices clearly once I was halfway down the stairs.

"This ain't a bed and breakfast. They both can't stay here." Big guy grunted, crossing his arms and staring down at Felix. Felix nodded. Never taking his eyes off Seungmin.

Me, I couldn't bring myself to look at Seungmin at first. I couldn't bear to see the malice, the hatred, the bloodlust in Seungmin's eyes when they met mine. But I was sure he was staring at me, I could feel it like a laser on my face. I had to check, I looked up, and I was right. It was kind of dark, but Seungmin's face seemed to be illuminated. His eyes were wide and wild, but the rest of him seem calm and composed. As if he had just popped in to chat, not crossed an entire wasteland to ... to what? Kill me? Talk me into leaving with him? What was his plan here. I made it, he couldn't touch me here. Could he?

"Seungmin, you need to leave." Felix said in a clear, loud voice.

Seungmin flinched at Felix's casual use of the name. Was he really surprised that I told him everything, and who he really was? He recovered quickly though, and responded in a calm, measured voice. "I needed to make sure she was okay."

"She's fine. Now leave." Felix responded shortly. He turned as if to go back upstairs, like the matter was closed and we were going back to bed.

"I can't leave. She's still my partner, you can't change that." Seungmin said, taking a half step inside.

"Yeah, I know how you treat your partners, Seungmin."

He flinched again at the use of his real name, but continued to speak calmly. "I am responsible for her safety. I have to be close." He reasoned. I felt a chill go up my spine, but it wasn't out of fear. Worse than fear, it was...an old feeling. It felt like Sky.

GIRL. SNAP out of IT. This is a PARTNER killer. He is lying! He is lying, right?

"Then go outside and sleep on the fucking ground. You are not staying here. Or anywhere near her."

Seungmin put his hands up, "Fair enough. I can sleep outside." He looked up at me, "Paila, I'll be close enough to hear, just call out if you need me." His eyes were still wide, but they were glistening. I could hear the emotion in his voice when he said my name. Was it real? I could never be sure again, after all, deceiving partners is literally his job.

I couldn't answer him; I just turned and walked back up the stairs, feeling my heart beat in my chest.

I crawled back in the bed, straining my ears to hear their voices, but it was silent. A minute later, the door opened, and Felix was sliding back into bed next to me. I kept my back to him.

"What did he say?" I asked, working to keep my voice even.

"Nothing, he just walked outside. He's lying next to the front door, so I guess he was serious about not minding the ground."

"You get used to it out here," I mused.

Felix never had to live like that. He spent his first night in a hospital bed, and then he moved to this bed.

"He won't get to you. Good night Paila."

"Good night."

I couldn't sleep though, knowing Seungmin was curled up on the ground, twenty steps away from me. Would he wait until he figured Felix and big guy were asleep, and come in to kill me quickly, then slip away? The fear was enough to keep my eyes open and alert until grey morning light started to creep across the floor of the room. Then, I allowed myself to drift to the first peaceful sleep I'd had in days.

It was early afternoon I'd estimate when Felix woke me up with some food.

"He still here?" were the first words out of my mouth.

Felix nodded. "Wants to talk to you. I told him no chance."

I ate slowly, chewing each bite slowly to savor it. Every meal felt like my last these days, so even though it was just stale bread with a slice of cheese, I tried to enjoy it.

By the time I had picked up every crumb with the pad of my finger and deposited in my mouth, I came to a resolve.

"I think I need to talk to him."

Felix stared at me. "Why?"

"Because he will never leave if I don't, don't you think? And I can't stay here forever with you 24/7. You said yourself; staying last night was a one-time thing."

He bit his lip. "I can find another place where he can't get you."

I shook my head. "Felix, you don't know him like I do. If he wants to get to me, just to talk, or even to kill me, he will eventually. My best chance is reasoning with him." I tried to convince Felix as well as myself with my words, but I wasn't sure if I was right or kidding myself. The problem is I can't reckon the Sky I knew with the Seungmin I know now. They cannot be contained in the same person, no matter how I spin it. One needs to be real and the other needs to be fake. Or pieces of each can be real, but the whole truth of both Sky and Seungmin just cannot exist together. It made my head hurt.

Either way, I was sure that talking to him was the only choice I had.

We just needed a way to do it safely.