I Wish You Never Met Me

19

CHAPTER 19

I shouldn't feel hurt.

I shouldn't feel a thing but here I was feeling hurt like someone betrayed me again. This time, it's in the case of a person I barely know. A person that shouldn't be jeopardizing everything they built for their future by being with me. He kept telling me that he didn't care but I see them. I see how his other friends are when they see him with me. I know they watch us. I even see their comments on the video on the page that posted it.

"ew, why is he with her?"

"Bridget's the better choice".

"She's not even all that. Yet, how does she pull him? I mean, she's got to have powers on her. For him, to like her that much".

The stupid thing wasn't real, and I was the one getting all the punches and jabs. I was the one taking the hit.

The moment my head met the pillow, I heard a knock. Looking over, I found him standing at the doorway. I turned away not bothering to acknowledging him. I don't know if I even have enough energy to talk to him right now. For some reason, he took as a sign to come in closing the door behind him and making a space to sit at the edge of my bed.

"Can we talk?" he asked, trying to keep his voice low so that Jaxson or Marissa wouldn't hear.

"No matter what I say or do, you never seem to take a hint," I don't bother to look at him. "Once this is over, you can go back to being whatever you were before you met me."

"What is it going to take for you to get it through your thick skull that my reputation at school doesn't matter?" he fired back.

I finally sat up. "Lucas, you'll lose everything. Everything you worked so hard for, will be gone. Friends, teammates, scholarships, all of it. You must protect that. It's already hard enough that I must deal with your friends judging me for the stupid presentation we did. Don't ruin your life with me."

"Meghan, why would you believe a bunch of idiots who will probably die alone because they waste their time judging people know nothing about on Instagram? Only an idiot would judge a chemistry presentation skit and twist it however they want. I can always work to get another scholarship. I can make new friends. I meant what I said when I told you that I was going stick by you no matter what."

"Lucas, because of me, your identity is in jeopardy, okay? You will probably move to another state and change your name again. You're going to start all over again all because of our stupid chemistry project. Save yourself while you again, please," I pleaded. "Please, go while you can. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want your family to lose you. Please, turn back. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it."

It felt five years had gone by, but only five minutes went by. That's how long he was quiet. That's how long he stared into the floor underneath his feet. I don't know what to think or feel. The anticipation was killing me, but it was for his own good. I couldn't bear the pain of ruining his life. It was perfect. He had his friends, his team, his family, peace. Everything he could ever ask for, and I came in and ruined it all.

"So, that's what you think?" he finally asked. "You think you ruined my life?"

"I don't think I ruined your life," I sighed, almost brought to tears I did not know that I still had. "I did ruin your life. Just like Sami's and Monica's. Like Jaxson's and Marissa's. My parents. Everyone's life. I'm a mistake. I wish I wasn't born. We shouldn't have been paired up. We shouldn't have-"

"Who told you that?" I could hear some anger, but sadness followed behind. "Did they tell you that?"

When I didn't answer, that current I always felt around him, ran through me making my spine stiff. His fingers were under my chin, making my eyes meet his greenish, gray ones that shined like a star against the moonlight. Taking his hand, I pulled away trying everything possible to keep him from hearing my erratic heartbeat. My body was the one thing that betrayed me again. It involuntarily relaxed as his hand found my chin again. Instead of making me meet his eyes again, his eyes found something else.