Deep Edges | Yuzuru Hanyu

26.

There it was, the offer to have what he wanted so badly for such a long time.

Yet, some kind of epiphany made him realize how fast they were taking things.

Izumi was kissing his lips with fervent passion when he gently and very reluctantly pushed her away in an attempt to get them both to calm down.

His body hated the idea when the confinements of his underwear were making his hard-on more painful with each second that passed but he didn't want her to regret anything in the future.

They could do this slower, exploring every detail of this newly found interaction and see where that took them. Maybe it was really better to figure out the other things before getting lost in each other's skin.

The whine that left her was as adorable as it was sexy, making his life even harder than he could've expected.

"I don't want to take things too fast, beautiful."

He saw the blush on her cheeks at the nickname but at the same time, there was an undeniable disappointment in her face.

"I just told you to..."

"I know what you said."

"Minutes ago I was the one telling you how impossible this was and you shut me up with a kiss."

"I know."

"And now you're stopping this?"

"Yes."

Yuzuru was very aware of how his short answers could be frustrating but he was enjoying this more than he should.

"Are you serious right now?"

"As adorable as you are when you're this frustrated, I'm very serious."

Izumi groaned against his shoulder, feeling his arms hug her body close despite what his mouth said.

"I don't fucking understand you." she muttered.

Yuzuru chuckled lightly, caressing her waist.

"You can ask whatever you want."

"You're hugging me, caressing me, but you won't let me kiss you?"

"That's not what I said. You can kiss me whenever you want and I will never be able to tell you no."

She looked even more confused now as her eyes focused on his face again in an attempt to understand the crazy man.

"You just pushed me away."

"Because it was getting a bit too much and I know well where that would end."

"So... I can kiss you."

"Yes."

"But no sex?"

He couldn't help but laugh and kiss her cheek in an adoring gesture.

"Not today."

Yuzuru didn't want to say no straight away. He didn't want her to have the wrong picture in her head. He just wanted to calm things down and explore slowly.

Izumi didn't hide her disappointment and he made sure to apologize profusely. Even so, the point on her face just made him smile.

"Then I guess I should go..."

While he was trying to place some distance between them, Yuzuru couldn't help but be disappointed if she wanted to leave. But what possible arguments could he find when he just told her he didn't want sex?

"You can stay if you want."

"But you just said..."

"All I'm saying is that there is a lot we can do without getting naked."

Izumi didn't miss the implication.

"I'm not grinding on you and having clothed sex, Hanyu-san." she said with a serious face and a hint of a smile. He knew she was joking and he ruffled her hair as a punishment.

"You can stay, we can order dinner, we can watch a movie, and then... eventually...if you're up to it... We can lay in bed, maybe kiss a little bit and I can cuddle you to sleep."

She snorted in reaction to how ridiculous he sounded but then again, all at the same time, those little things brought a warmth to her heart that she didn't expect.

"I didn't take you for a romantic."

"Well, I never saw myself as one."

Truth be told, Izumi wanted all of those things. It was easy to fall into that world of utter bliss that he was presenting to her as a possibility.

The real world would be there tomorrow when they went back to the rink but maybe for that night, they could pretend that the current state of things didn't put them in a vulnerable and dangerous situation.

"Will you leave tomorrow?"

Yuzuru pecked her lips when the words left her. Could he even go now when he found himself in a good place with her? Absolutely not. She was the reason he was even there, after all. Still, it didn't surprise him that she needed the reassurance.

"No. I won't go unless you want me to"

"You think things will be weird at the rink?"

"Honestly? I would rather not think about tomorrow."

"You do know that's the type of thing that gets us in these situations."

"Izumi... Just for tonight. Please just let us ignore that crazy world waiting for us and enjoy the little things that make us human."

How could she possibly refuse him? No one could, not that pleading adorable, babyface that he seemed to be able to pull whenever he wanted something.

So they did exactly what he had asked of her. They ordered room service and settled on the couch of his hotel room, something random playing on the TV.

The truth was that none of them was paying any attention to the screen when the conversation just came with ease.

Eventually, when he got serious, she knew that one of those tense questions was about to show.

"Tell me the truth, am I a distraction on the ice?"

Izumi just figured that lying wouldn't be her best option.

"Yes, maybe even more now."

The dejected look that showed up in his expression made her clarify right away.

"But... having you as a distraction works as motivation as well. When you're sharing the ice with me, I'm reminded of where hard work can take me, I'm reminded of everything you've achieved."

"You have plenty of medals, you don't give yourself enough credit."

"Maybe, but with you, it was never about the medals but rather the man beneath them. I strive to make the same connection with the fans like you do. So yes, even if you're a distraction, you're one that I accept with open arms because, in the end, I think it makes me a better skater."