Deep Edges | Yuzuru Hanyu

43.

The practice session of that day reminded Izumi of the time before Yuzu came into her life.

It was just terrible, filled with uncertainties and popped jumps that took her absolutely nowhere.

It had been a long time since she felt that useless on the ice.

Last time, the solution had been a simple conversation with Yuzuru Hanyu but now that was far from an acceptable solution.

He was part of the reason behind that mess, after all.

Nanami pulled her aside and away from Akito after the session under the pretense of discussing some technical things. Even if reluctantly, her fiance agreed and said he was going to get a coffee.

The look on the coach's face told her that Yuzu had probably shared some stuff with her.

"You need to get yourself together, Izumi." Nanami immediately said when they were alone.

"I know."

"Do I have to take him the hell out of your sight?"

"Akito? No, it's fine. I can handle it."

"I meant Yuzuru, but it's interesting to see that you thought of your future husband first."

"It's complicated."

"So I've heard. Listen, I know things are pretty hard for you right now and I'm sure there are a lot of confusing thoughts too, but you need to make sure that all of it stays outside of your performance, otherwise, you should just pack your bags and leave before even trying to get on the ice."

"How much did he really tell you?"

"A lot, maybe too much when you realize this is Yuzu we're talking about. He isn't usually one to just openly talk about things like these."

"Shit."

"Whatever the story behind all of this is, I only care about what you show on the ice, alright? Everything else is a concern for another day and a time when the focus isn't being an Olympic champion."

"Of course, Nanami-sensei."

"Very well, now let's get that head into the right place and make sure tomorrow is a better day alright?"

Izumi confirmed with a nod just in time for Akito to arrive again and look at her suspiciously.

He observed her as he tried to figure out why the coach wanted to talk to her in person. The man was so completely oblivious to the sport that he hadn't realized what a terrible session she just had.

So much so that all of his priorities seemed to be on something way different.

It was just that Yuzuru chose that precise moment to get his ass close to them, greeting everyone softly with his innocent look.

"Everything okay?" he asked Izumi with a worried expression. Yuzu knew her well enough to know that something had to be going on for her to skate like she did but even so, the part that he couldn't quite figure out was if it was because of him or the other man.

Truly, it was a mix of both but Akito was only getting on her nerves with his possessiveness and attitude while Yuzuru just made her consider every single life decision until then.

"Yeah, just tired, I think."

"Make sure you rest for the short. I really want to see you on the final this time." 

Yuzuru said it in a friendly way, a smile wide on his face that she quickly retributed.

"Yeah, I will try."

As she felt the sleeve of her jacket being pulled, Izumi quickly realized that she had been wrong.

No, Yuzu had no blame for this besides showing up in there. The one person making things difficult was the man pulling her.

"Aki?"

"You should rest, We can just go to our room."

Gulping, Izumi just accepted her fate, saying a gentle goodbye to her coach and Yuzuru before allowing her fiance to drag her out of there.

This time, the engineer had no reason to even be jealous. All they did was small talk.

Not that it mattered because mere minutes later, he was pushing her into the bed and kissing her in a similar way to the previous day.

Izumi winced right away as she thought of a possible repeat of the previous day. Her body was so exhausted and still sore from the night before, making her wonder right away how bad it would be.

Akito didn't care. All he wanted was to prove the point that he was a better man, no matter what the consequences were.

On that night, very much like on the day before, he had just pinned her against the mattress, ignoring every plea to take things easy. The one thing that mattered was getting his release, everything else was secondary.

Izumi could take all of it on her over-abused body, but at the same time, the pain and hurt were more psychological than physical. There were just too many worries on her shoulders and too many things to consider.

She thanked all the saints when Akito lasted less than expected and finally fell asleep by her side.

Izumi needed air, she needed time by herself to think of such a change in her life.

Changing her clothes into some sweatpants and a hoodie, she retrieved one of the keycards of the room and found herself walking through the empty halls of the hotel.

It wasn't that late but given that competition started on the next day, most of the skaters were resting and preparing for the tough day ahead.

With the hoodie on her head, Izumi just wanted to walk around without being recognized. She knew that clearing her head was the only thing that could improve her current situation.

She wasn't even sure when the tears started falling but knowing that no one was around made it that she didn't hide them either.

Izumi found herself sitting in one of the common areas of the hotel with a few couches, the peace and silence of that corner being satisfactory enough for her self-depreciation state.

Staying there for a while managed to help her find her peace. There wasn't much she could do besides accept that things weren't always like we wanted them to be.

But yet, somehow, there's always that tiny spark of hope lingering.

For her, the spark came through the soft voice of the man she loved, even if she tried to pretend she didn't.

"Izumi? Are you ok?"