Deep Edges | Yuzuru Hanyu

37.

Izumi had to admit that the first days that followed his leave to Sendai were tough.

It had been very easy to adapt to his presence and not having him around anymore took a toll on her, both physically and emotionally.

He had been her biggest encourager and part of her almost believed that if he hadn't been there, the likelihood of her still being far from achieving anything remotely close to a triple was very slim.

As the days went by, however, her brain slowly got used to not having him there too. For all the drama of their parting, she kind of expected it to be far worse than it turned out to be but maybe it was due to the fact that she had so much going on that it would be hard to even find the time to worry.

Life moved on as it did before him, her heart and focus completely dedicated to the sport she had been doing since she was a little girl. Once again, all the sacrifices made through the years were merely for the medals and recognition of her athletic endeavors because, on a more personal level, it was easy to understand that it brought more sacrifices than actual joy.

But right at the same time, doing this had been her dream once and Izumi held on to those crazy hopes of herself as a 5-year-old girl who wanted to conquer the world. In a world where she had allowed a man like Yuzuru to leave her side, there was only one medal that could make up for it and she knew exactly which.

Even he knew it.

As much as she wanted other medals and conquests, there was very little that any medal besides the Olympic one could do for her. It's apparently something that happens when you've won everything else already, at least that's what Yuzuru kept saying.

Her days were now back to what they had once been, filled with hours on the ice and all the others doing things towards the improvement of her skating.

It was very easy to forget just how much effort went into an athlete's life and just how much sacrifice for the most basic of social things was a common occurrence.

For her, a very dedicated introvert, none of it bothered her much. Even if she had the extra time, all she knew was skating, after all.

And so, the preparation for the new season went by relatively well, with new programs quickly making their way into her repertoire and her jumps gradually getting better and better.

Looking at how things were then, it was hard to believe how bad it had been in April when she first went back to the ice.

Still, there were some days in the off-season that it was easy to think of other times, with a certain person on her side and the happiness that she had felt whenever they were on the ice together.

Sure, she still loved to skate, but there was just something special about sharing the ice with him and it had nothing to do with his accolades in the sport.

It was also easy to think of the moments they shared outside of it, from the warmth of his embrace to how incredible he felt in her bed. There was no doubt that he had given her enough fuel for her imagination of the next years but whatever she could do by herself was nothing close to what they had together.

Her season that year turned out to be a disappointment and not entirely because of her performance.

When news came that the Federation hadn't given her exemption from regionals and the other small competitions, you could be certain she was very mad. It had nothing to do with the girls she would be competing against but rather the unnecessary need to go through a bunch of tiring competitions when she was still the National Champion.

In a way, she knew they were merely doing this because she injured herself before worlds, making them replace her suddenly, but it wasn't as if she could control her injuries.

So now she found herself with one of the heaviest competition-schedule years of her life, surpassing even the year she was a junior champion, both national and Worlds.

Rumors that Yuzuru had been training with Tsuzuki-sensei for those two months quickly spread and as a result, it seemed like the JSF only hated her more.

It wasn't as if she could control who trained at the rink.

The last drop was when the GP assignments never came due to her lack of participation in the World Championships and external invitations. Suddenly, everything that she had known about her sport seemed to be a lie.

The Federation made her life a living hell. Not only did she have to go through the small competitions to even have a chance to go to Nationals, but she wasn't even allowed or invited to do anything internationally.

It was so easy to lose motivation in a situation like that but when Izumi remembered everything she had sacrificed until that moment, it was easy yo just get back to work.

When she completed that terrifying season with a stellar performance at the Japanese Nationals and yet another title, all Izumi wanted was to shove the damn medal into their faces.

The competition that followed, the world championships was one that she never felt ready for after a year of low competition.

If there was something that Yuzuru had engraved in her head, it was that no other medal but the gold was enough. He always strived for the best result and she had quickly found the habit of doing the exact same thing.

The result of yet another silver medal was disappointing but one that assured her of the qualification for the GP series of the season that followed.

It may seem like a small detail, but the harsh reality was that it was the pre-Olympic season and as much as she didn't care about those medals, the confidence of a good season before the games could be essential for her hopes to get that gold-colored medal. It had been over a year since she last saw him, but the influence of Yuzuru Hanyu was still deeply embedded in her every training routine and action.

Izumi was ready to tackle the Olympic season with every single advice he had given her and all the hard work of the past year and there was no one or anything that could stop her. This was her chance.