Meant To Be

Chapter twenty-five

It was dark when Ronnie got up. Anxiety wouldn't leave her alone. She flicked on the light and pulled on her grey hoodie, dipping her nose into the neck. Home was still there. Lifting her phone, the notification was sitting on screen with birthday emojis and hearts. Patrick 33 it read. She had heard the vibration at midnight and lay still as it brightened a patch of darkness. Eventually, Ronnie picked up her phone, her eyes squinting. But she wouldn't allow her finger to swipe it away even though that's what she did every other year without a second thought. She destroyed the simplicity of happy birthday. Dissecting every letter and sound it made, concocting various assumptions of what it meant to say 'happy birthday' to another.

Down on her hands and knees scrubbing around the back of the toilet like a punishment, Ronnie decided not to send the text. The silver moon gawking in the window made the tears glisten in her eyes. She yanked the yellow gloves off and sent Lucy a message instead. Two minutes later the phone rang.

"Hey Luc."

"Well Ron, what's the craic now?"

"Not much, just doing a bit of cleaning." Ronnie tucked her legs underneath her hips, getting comfortable on the floor. "What are you up too?"

"Funny, I'm just finished the dishes. I had to get a flipping filling in the day and my mouth still feels all gammy. The dog got most of my bloody dinner."

"At least it didn't end up in the bin."

Lucy made a disgruntled noise. "So how are you getting on anyway?"

"Aye alright."

"Here, what time is it with you? Should ye not be sleeping?"

"Ah...it's almost two."

"Right. The 25th of June."

"Mm-hmm. Did you send him a card?"

"I put a weane of Xs on it and everything." Ronnie imitated a laugh. When it tunnelled away down the phone, she asked Lucy if she'd seen Patrick recently. "Naw. He seems to have fell off the face of the earth." Lucy paused. "But I did drive by the house yesterday."

"And?"

Lucy drew a breath. "The house is up for sale Ronnie. I've been meaning to call you all day."

"Aw it's grand. I told him he could do that."

"Why did ye tell him that for?!"

"I'm not going back there."

"Have you spoke to your solicitor?"

"Amm, not really."

"For flip sake Ronnie! You need to make sure you get your share. That house is half yours. Not to mention the bloody size of the place."

"I don't care if he takes every penny."

"Seriously Ronnie?" Ronnie could see Lucy's disgust like she was sitting in front of her, eyebrows perched on top of one another, lips pinched. "You bloody well should care. And when are you coming home? It's been like a month already."

Ronnie dropped her head back against the wall, letting Lucy rant about how they won't keep her job at the hospital for much longer and that she can't keep telling people she'll be home soon. "I don't care about all that Luc. Tell them whatever you want but I'm not ready to come home. Maybe I never will. There's nothing there for me anymore."

"What about me and Ella?"

Ronnie tutted. "That's not fair. You know what I mean." The two women clung to the silence tying them together, their frustrations leaking all over it.