Meant To Be

Chapter twelve - Magilligan, Co Derry, Northern Ireland

Ronnie's hand fitted through the letterbox. On the other side, it hung loosely, cramping the key in her palm. She could feel her skin beginning to break. The blood filling the slender dents, dripping over in thick blotches, leaving deep, exaggerated strains.

Ronnie let go. The key slapped against the oak floor her mother picked one rainy Thursday evening. They were meant to have dinner at Fitzroy's beforehand. It was Ronnie's idea. Then she had to work late. Her mother was angry. Ronnie was glad. It was better than being disappointed. She told her she would make it up to her. Her mother went to the carpet store without her. Patrick was none the wiser. He liked the floor.

Slipping her hand back through the letter box, Ronnie turned her palm up towards her. The mark of the key on her skin was already disappearing.

Closing the boot, Ronnie heard the growing hum of an engine. Patrick pulled into the empty space next to her like he would've done on any ordinary day. He got out of the jeep, clean shaven and well dressed, smelling like he showered in aftershave. Ronnie thought he looked like money, an heir of a country estate with his fancy Barbour coat and matching trimmings. She wasn't sure if he was making more effort than usual on a Tuesday afternoon or if he always looked like that and she stopped noticing somewhere along the line. She wouldn't believe the latter.

"Did you not get my message?" asked Ronnie. "I said I would put the key in the letter box."

"I got it."

"Then why are you here?"

"To chat some sense into you."

"Fuck off." Ronnie went to the driver's door. Patrick stretched his stride to catch her. He grabbed her arm, his fingers meeting around the bone, stopping her from getting into the car. "Let go of me." Ronnie pulled her arm from Patrick's hold before he had a chance to oblige. He held his hands up, stepping back.

"I'm here because I wanted to see you."

"I haven't heard tell of you for almost three weeks and now you decide to show up?" said Ronnie.

"I wanted to give you your space."

"You could have called! Text!"

Patrick raised his brows, exaggerating his dark eyes. "Aye ok, because that would have gone down well."

Ronnie slammed the car door shut. "Fine. What did you want to see me for?"

"To say I'm sorry. For everything," Patrick's arms slapped his sides. "Fuck Ronnie, I never wanted it to come to this."

"So what did you want? Because as far as I see, you finally got everything."

"All I ever wanted was you."

"How can you stand there and say that to me?!"

"Because it's true!" Patrick stalled, his quiet eyes trying to dig into Ronnie's soul as the vanilla scent that clung to her body day and night, bullied his heart. "Now you tell me I was all you ever wanted."

Ronnie shook her head. "I'm not doing this."

"You see, you can't even say it!"

"You don't deserve to hear me say it."

Patrick smirked. "Are you really going to Nashville?"

"Yeah. It's a pity I ever came back in the first place."

Patrick nodded, biting the edge of his lip. "I'm gonna..." he said, pointing at the jeep, angling his body away from her.

Ronnie's heart started to rally. "Patrick." She stopped a step closer to him, a sudden look of uncertainty filtering her face as Patrick waited, like there was something to gain. Ronnie swallowed. Her spine stretched making her taller. "Do what you want with the house."

"Noted," said Patrick. They continued to stare at each other, seconds passing. "Well if there's nothing else, don't let me keep you."

Ronnie gritted her teeth. "You know what, fuck you Patrick. I'm not going to be made feel guilty because you didn't care enough to find out what was going on with me!"

Ronnie got into the car, her hands shaking as she put it into gear. Patrick looked back at her in the mirror, stationed in front of the house. As she drove away, he turned, kicking the air. Ronnie dragged her eyes away, pressing harder on the accelerator and taking a dangerously quick look left, she pulled straight out onto the main road.