Chapter 22

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Chapter 22

Cousin

Mommy:

Graduation ni Rila next week. Pumunta ka.

I bit my lower lip while leaning against the headboard of the bed. I ran my fingers through my hair as I read Mom's text.

"Who's Rila?" Zephyra asked, looking at my phone as well.

After what happened during Christmas, the new year came and I decided to find a fuck buddy. Maybe I shouldn't dwell on my confession to Ellis anymore. It seems like he doesn't care anyway. He acts normal whenever we meet.

Yes, nag kikita kami pero hindi na kagaya nang dati na lalapit ako.

Ayoko ng gawin ang bagay na iyon dahil bukod sa naiintindihan ko siya, matalim din palagi ang mata niya.  I respect his feelings, even if it means compromising my own. I can't do anything if he doesn't want me, right?

And as I said to myself, I won't force myself on him. I don't want to look like a fool. Umamin na nga ako tapos dadagdagan ko pa? Ano pang matitira sa akin? Wala na.

In my desire to forget and save myself from what happened, I looked for a girl to spend time with. Because who knows, maybe he's right? Maybe I just lack a woman. If that's what he wants, for me to be the one to pursue, then so be it.

I also want to forget, after all.

Imbis na sagutin siya ay tumayo ako at pinulot ang t-shirt sa sahig.

"I'm leaving. I have somewhere to go," I said and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Kay Rila ka pupunta?" matalim ang mata niya ng tanungin niya ako.

Natawa ako. Oh, please, she's my sister.

"Don't ask too many questions," I said while buckling my belt. She hugged the white blanket, her hair messy. She really looks like she just finished rough sex.

I looked away and swallowed as I remembered what was on my mind earlier while we were doing it. Fuck it.

"Maging patas naman tayo rito, Austin. Kapag ikaw ayos lang na may ibang babae, pero kapag ako, bawal?"

I licked my lips. "Well, go find another man then. I don't mind."

Nanlaki ang kan'yang mata sa aking sinabi. 

"Hindi iyon ang ibig kong sabihin! At point ko, hindi mo sinasabi sa akin ang nangyayari sa buhay mo. Sino si Rila, huh? Bago mo?" tanong niya, nanlilisik ang mata.

Revealing what's happening in my life, my ass. Girlfriend ko ba siya? Hindi naman! Sa natatandaan ko, wala kaming pinag kasunduan na kailangan pala malaman ang ganap sa buhay ng isa't isa.  If she's interested in my life, well, I'm not interested in her!

"Just because we fuck doesn't mean you're my girlfriend, Zephy. I don't see you that way," I said bluntly.

Her jaw dropped as if she didn't expect that to come out of my mouth. I wanted to be honest with her. I didn't want her to act like we have a label when in reality, we don't.

"It doesn't mean that just because we fuck, you're automatically my girlfriend. It's just lust and heat that I feel. And I have no plans of making you my girlfriend," I added.

"Fine! Pero paano kapag nabuntis ako, huh?" hamon niya.

Imbis na matakot ay ngumisi lang ako. Hahanap at hahanap talaga ng paraan para matali ako, eh? As if I wouldn't remove it? I'm not stupid enough to finish inside her.

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