Star-Crossed Melodies (Echoes #1)

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Baby

Now I realize that love isn't just about happiness. It's a mix of emotions that you feel for someone. It's not always about being happy together, but because you love, you also feel pain and sadness.

"I'm begging you to love me. Even just in dreams, para lang maramdaman ko ang pakiramdam na minamamahal pabalik." my shoulders tremble as tears fall.

Naramdaman ko ang pag iling niya.

"Hindi rin t-tayo puwede. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa 'yo na kapatid mo ang nang rape sa akin?! Hindi ko kayang makasama ka dahil pinapaalala mo lang ang dapat ay kinakalimutan ko na! Gusto ko nang lumayo at umalis, Austin-"

Matamaan ko siyang tiningnan kahit na halos hindi ko na siya makita dahil sa luha sa aking mata.

"Nangako ka sa akin na hindi mo ako iiwan! I held on to that promise even though I knew you couldn't keep it! I hoped that you would eventually love me and say yes later on, that's why I'm doing everything to achieve justice for you, because I don't want you to carry that burden while you're with me," I whispered as my tears continued to flow.

Tinulak niya ako pero ramdam ko ang pang hihina niya. Umiling ako at lalo siyang niyakap. Baka kaunting layo ko lang ay makaalis siya. Takot na takot akong pakawalan siya kasi alam kong kaya niya akong iwan na walang bahid ng takot.

Kaya niya akong hiwalayan nang hindi kumukurap. At kaya niya rin akong durugin ng ilang beses.

"I didn't know it was my brother who harassed you. But now that I know, after our game, I immediately had them arrested, thinking that when I come home to this condo, I'll just hug you," hikbi ko.

I took a deep breath to get some air.

"Hindi pala. Ganito pala ang maaabutan ko. May bagahe sa labas at balak akong iwan, gusto akong hiwalayan. Do you know how hard I fought for you against my father... just to have my brother jailed?"

I stepped back to look him in the eyes. I wiped away his tears while disregarding my own. I brushed his hair aside.

"I did everything, Ellis, because I didn't want you to leave me. I didn't want us to break up. Daddy and I argued, he told me not to pursue the case but I refused! Because I know you deserve justice more." My voice was filled with pain.

"H-hindi mo a-ako naiintindihan." bulong niya.

"Sinusubukan ko..." sagot ko.

"K-kung sinusubukan mo, bakit hindi mo a-ako magawang paalisin?!" umiiyak niyang sigaw.

"Kasi mahal kita." nang hihina kong bulong.

Anger, pain, and regret passed through his eyes. His tears seemed endless as they continued to fall. Seeing him like this felt like being stabbed. He pleaded for me to just let him go.

"Ang selfish mo mag mahal k-kung ganoon." mariin niyang sambit.

Doon bumagsak ang mundo ko. It felt like everything around me crumbled, leaving me shattered. No hurtful words could compare to what he said about me being selfish. Binalikan ko ang mga araw na ginawa ko ang lahat para sa kanya.

I never forced anything if he didn't want to. Sinusunod ko ang gusto niya. I swallowed my pride until there was almost none left... and yet, I'm still selfish? I only thought about him, and I'm still selfish?

But then... I didn't want to retaliate. I didn't want to throw everything back at him.

Kahit awang-awa na sa sarili ay pilit kong hagilapin ang kanyang braso. Nilayo niya sa akin iyon pero hindi ako nag patinag. It hurt to see him disgusted by me. I understood him. His feelings were valid.