Summary: You get an anxiety attack at an awards show with Taylor.
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Everything was going great.
You and Taylor had been enjoying the show and the performances and you felt perfectly fine.
That is, however, until close to two hours into the show, you got a sudden wave of anxiety.
This happened more often than not, and you knew how to handle it.
You had closed your eyes and kept your head down, taking in steady breaths until the anxiety passed. Usually, it passed in only a few minutes.
This time, however, your anxiety only continued to build. You started to become frustrated with your emotions, your breathing picking up and becoming heavier as you picked at your fingers and your leg bounced up and down quickly.
Taylor was quick to notice your sudden change in demeanor. She looked at you worriedly for a few seconds before placing a soft hand on your shoulder.
As soon as you felt her touch, you reached a hand over to grip her thigh, trying to calm yourself down.
"Y/n, what's wrong?" Taylor asks, scooting closer to you to wrap her arm fully around your shoulders.
You opened your mouth but nothing cane out. You felt as if your throat was suddenly sealed with cement. You began to feel too overwhelmed with emotions, tears welling up in your eyes.
"Do you need to step out for a minute?" She asks, taking your hand, which was still gripping her thigh, in hers, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand with her thumb.
You only nod your head, telling Taylor you needed to leave now.
Taylor quickly got up, helping you up as well before walking you to the bathrooms.
She led you in to the big stall and shut it, thanking God that no one else was in here so you could be more comfortable away from people.
Your legs felt shaky as you slowly slid down the wall, tears finally freefalling down your face.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Taylor asked again, squatting down to be face level with you. "What's going on?"
"I- I can't b-breathe," you say, hyperventilating which only proved your point further.
"Hey, yes you can," Taylor said, placing her hands delicately on your cheeks and wiping away your tears. "Breathe with me. In for five..."
You followed her movements as she breathed along with you.
"Hold for three..."
You looked in Taylor's soft, blue eyes focusing only on her as tou breathed.
"Out for five."
After breathing one time around, you grabbed Taylor's wrists for support, her hands never leaving your face.
"Let's do that again, okay?" You nodded, gulping the built-up saliva in your mouth from your crying.
"Okay," Taylor whispered, smiling softly at you. "In for five... Hold for three... Out for five."
You and Taylor breathed a few more times before your heart rate slowed down and your breathing became normal.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Taylor asked as she stroked your cheeks lovingly.
You shrug. "I just got a sudden rush of anxiety and it didn't go away like it usually does. It made me feel too overwhelmed."
Taylor nodded, running a hand through your hair as she looked at you with worry in her eyes.
Suddenly, you grabbed a hold of your stomach, which didn't go unnoticed by Taylor.
"Are you going to be sick?" She asks you. You can only nod as you feel saliva build up again. Taylor helps you over to the toilet and holds back your hair as you being to vomit into the toilet bowl.
Taylor kneels behind you, rubbing soothing circles on your back and holding your hair. "It's alright, love. Get it out of your system."
A few minutes go by before you're done. You spit into the toilet before leaning back into Taylor, new tears building up and falling from your eyes.
It was a common thing for you to throw up after an anxiety attack, your body still trying to fully process everything that just happened, but it didn't make it any less embarrassing and frustrating, eapecially in the bathroom stall at an awards show.
"I'm sorry," you cry to Taylor.
"Don't apologize, love," Taylor quickly reassures you. "This stuff happens, and I know you can't help it."
She kisses the top of your head as you sit on the floor and re-gather yourself again.
After a few minutes, you've calmed down and you sit with your arms around Taylor's neck as she holds you protectively.
"I love you," you whisper to her, you having little energy to form full sentences.
"I love you too, baby girl," Taylor says to you, kissing your temple. "Do you want to go home?"
You remove yourself from her and nod, wiping your eyes of your most definitely ruined makeup.
Taylor smiles at you and helps you up to lead you out of the bathroom.
She leads you out the back entrance where nobody would see the two of you before she calls Tree to let her know the situation.
Tree sends a car and driver for you and Taylor and he arrives within a few minutes.
Taylor helps you into the car and you cling to her the whole way home.
You were so grateful for Taylor and thanked God for having her be the most amazing woman anyone could ask for.
A/N
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Did you guys miss me?
I missed you 😘
Anyways, I just really felt the need to write this to kind of sort out my own thoughts and feelings with my anxiety and the spikes I've been getting recently, which really suck but Taylor makes everything better 🫶
