"Hello, Loki," you greet him as he walks into your apartment, turning in your desk chair from where you were sitting, in front of your computer, watching The Video. You are smiling cheerfully up at him, and you actually do feel good, even if it's due to anticipation and not just general sunniness.
Loki knows you well; too well. He's already looking wary. "Good evening." He clears his throat, attempting to reclaim the bravado with which he walked through your door. "Well? You invited me here on the pretext that you had a 'special surprise' planned for me this evening. What is it to be? I warn you, my expectations are extremely high after the wait I've endured, and your secrecy did not help matters"-
"Loki?" you ask sweetly. "Do you know what this is?" You indicate the YouTube video on your screen, and he peers at it.
"Of course," he nearly succeeds in chuckling. "The video from your event known as 'Comic Con.' What an...eccentric performance by that Hiddleston mortal who bears my face. Did you enjoy it?" he smolders at you. You nearly laugh at how hard he's trying.
"At first. But then it made me a bit jealous. Besides, you know how I feel about you being...dominant."
He shifts. "Well, then, fortunately, it was naught but an impersonation. Now, what delightful torments have you planned for me tonight? Come, I grow impatient."
You consider taking him to task for trying to order you around, but you let it go. You have bigger fish to fry. "You know, I really wish I could have gone to Comic Con and seen it in person. Too bad about work. I have some online friends who went, and they said it was incredible."
"Yes, I am certain that it"-
"The funny thing is, I checked with Sheila, and she said that you were unaccounted for a period of about forty-eight hours, when you apparently told SHIELD you were going to visit me. But of course you obviously didn't."
"Who is this 'Sheila'?" he demands.
"One of SHIELD's receptionists. No, I'm not telling you which one. She's very nice. Don't you pick up anyone's name, living there?" You shake your head. "I've only visited once or twice, and even I sort of know some people. You just get talking, you know?
"Anyway, the even funnier thing is, Tom Hiddleston's Comic Con performance took place within that same forty-eight-hour time interval."
He's trying to stay so cool. And mostly, he's succeeding. But you know the little signs and tics, and you can't help but smile a little wider as you watch them play out across his features. "Loki, it'll be better for you if you just come clean."
"Do you intend to inform on me to SHIELD?" he growls.
"Not unless I have to. I take it no one's hurt? Tom Hiddleston is fine?"
"Of course. The man practically begged me to do it once I told him of my plan. He told me he thought I 'needed' it, that the idea gave him..." Loki's lip curls disdainfully. "'Feels.'" You do nearly crack up at the idea of this. Imagine what Tumblr would say about that.
"And did you have fun?" you're back to your sweet voice. "All that attention, all that adulation, from other women – and men? Did you like"- you stand, and watch as he just barely restrains himself from taking a step back –"that slap you got from Natalie Portman?" He blushes at that, actually blushes. Oh, he enjoyed it. This had better not ruin Natalie Portman for me, you think, although you doubt that it will; you're not really that jealous. It's just part of the game.
"Yes," he replies, softly but defiantly, a wicked grin coming over his face. "Oh yes, I did." He's waiting for you to escalate it; baiting you.
