Affairs of the Heart

2

She arrived home and sat on the floor with Tuck. He roamed around playing with his toys. She watched her son. She couldn't believe that her husband could accuse her of putting her job before him. She was working for him. She wanted to provide a life for herself and her son. Tucker took a year off from work. She didn't have that choice available to her. Taking a year off from residency was just like quitting the program. 

"Mommy loves you. I never want you to think I don't" She sighed looking at him. He just looked back at her and showed her his toy with a huge smile on his face.

"You are just happy to be here huh" She chuckled

"Dada" He pointed to their bedroom

"Umm dada isn't here right now buddy" She sighed. He looked up at her and began to pout.

"Oh no, no don't....." She started to say don't cry but before she could finish her thought he began to wail throwing the toy in his hand down and falling out on the floor in a full-blown tantrum.

"Tuck please" She picked him up but that just seemed to make him cry louder

"Dada" He repeated pointing. She huffed in frustration and walked into the room. For some reason, she thought that maybe showing him the empty room would help. He looked around the room and dissatisfied with the absence of his father he still cried.

"Tuck he isn't here buddy I don't know what to tell you" She laid him across her shoulder and rubbed his back

"Dada" He just repeated. Miranda sighed and grabbed her phone to call Tucker. When he didn't answer she left a voicemail of just Tuck crying and saying dada. She hung up the phone and walked over to the closet taking out one of Tucker's shirts and wrapping Tuck in it.

"There buddy it smells like dada" She looked at him hoping it would ease his emotions just a little.  But that was yet another futile attempt at soothing her son. Growing even more frustrated she just placed him in her arms and sat on the floor rocking with him wanting to cry herself.

"I know Tuck" She whispered to him. "You are used to Dada being here with you every day. And instead, it's me. You're confused. And all we do is yell at each other and that's not fair to you. I'd be throwing tantrums too" She kissed his forehead. She began softly singing to him and he eventually calmed down enough to fall asleep. She looked at the sleeping baby in her arms. 

She sighed "You're just a little kid and your life doesn't make sense" She got up from the floor and laid Tuck down. She sat on the edge of the bed and just sat in silence thinking about her life. She heard the front door open and she peeked her head out.

"Where is he" Tucker asked

"I got him to sleep" She sighed

"What are you doing home"

"I got sent home for the day because I am in no condition to practice medicine apparently"

"I know that's tearing you up inside" He sarcastically stated

"Look he's asleep and he's calm. You don't have to be around me if you don't want to Tucker"

"Miranda when did things get so wrong between us" He sighed

"Tucker, I don't feel like doing this right now" She shook her head " I have a headache and I just have cried too much today. My chest is tight and I just can't do this today"

"Right" He rolled his eyes "I'm going to be out here when he wakes up" He pointed to the couch "He's going to want me still"

"Fine by me" She nodded and walked back into the room. She laid down next to her son and eventually dozed off as well. When she felt someone else in the bed wrapping their arms around her, she opened her eyes.