wrong number | b.e.

Come back | 044

WRONG NUMBER
- Nevaeh -
Continued...

tw: talk of suicide

I wake up and look up to see Billie, looking down at me. "Hi, baby." She whispers softly. "Hi." I mumble. "How are you?" She asks. "I just need a second." I say, getting out of her embrace.

"Where are you going?"

"The bathroom." I answer. "I don't want you being alone in there, Vae. I can't trust you right now." Billie sighs. "I'm just going to the bathroom, for fuck's sake." I roll my eyes.

"Nevaeh, just... just don't do anything stupid while you're in there." She sighs in defeat. "Alright, whatever." I shrug and walk into the bathroom.

I don't even have to go to the bathroom, I just need space after what happened earlier.

I can't go to the hospital again. The psych ward was fucking horrible. I mean, it helped a little bit, but if I didn't meet Billie, I probably would've ended up going back there again.

She saved my life.

I wish I could be better for her. She deserves better than this. I feel horrible that she has to put up with me and all of my shit.

She could leave me if she wanted to, but she won't and I don't get why. I'm difficult as fuck.

I just love her more than anything.

I feel like I'm holding her back, like I'm a burden to her. Honestly, I don't get what she sees in me. I know that sounds stupid, but she could find someone less... train wreck-y.

"Vaeh?"

I sigh at Billie's knock on the door. "What?"

"Are you okay? It's quiet." She says. "I'm fine, Bil." I tell her. "You're not doing anything, right?" Billie asks. "No." I shake my head even though she can't see me. "Vae, be honest with me." She sighs. "What the fuck is up with all this mistrust? You seriously don't trust me?" I ask. "Baby, of course I trust you, I just care about your safety." She assures me.

"I know, B. Just give me a second, okay?"

"Okay." She says. I hear her walk away and sit back down on the bed.

I appreciate her concern, but she can't even trust me. I know that she found some fucked up stuff, but it's not like I'm gonna do anything.

I'm not.

I walk out of the bathroom once I've decided that I'm done thinking, and I sit down on the bed, laying my head on Billie's chest.

"I love you." Billie whispers. "I love you too." I whisper back as I plant a kiss on her collarbone.

The door to my bedroom opens and Isaiah comes in. He sits down on the edge of my bed and smiles at me. "Hi, Vae."

"Hi, Zay." I give him a small wave.

"Okay, so I know you were really insistent on not going to the ward, but I think it could be good f-"

"No, I'm not going." I shake my head.

"Nevaeh, if you could just hear me out for a seco-"