Immaculate

Chapter 9

The master bed shaped like a fire truck, or built-in bathroom with a fire truck shower curtain blowing out the window sixty feet in the air, or the fire truck red wall coloring OR the view of the fire station didn't make me gasp.

The man sitting on the foot on the bed did.

"YOU!" I sputtered. "What...who...you're the Target employee!"

"Meet the new band member and my fourth hubby!" my dad declared.

I sipped some pop and shook my head. "Okay, but this seems like a weird surprise. Why didn't you just tell me your new band member is an ex-Target employee?"

The ex-Target employee shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His name was Allie.

Dad saved him. "Well, if we told you, Stream would want to know, too. And...we don't want her to know."

"That seems like a weird thing for her to want to know. I don't think she'd care."

"She caught me cheating on her with Allie while shopping for frozen vegetables in the freezer aisle of Target," Dad said.

"I had heads of broccoli sticking out of my hair," Allie added. He had a deep southern accent, like he'd come from Texas and not California.

"Okay, but why did you ask Immaculate to come here and skip school?" Alexson asked.

"Well, to help with the preparations! We're planning a heist of one of the fire station's trucks and wanted you boys to be our scouts," Dad said.

"REALLY? YES!!" Alexson exclaimed.

"Why would you say that?" I said, slapping him on the back of the head. "Of course not! Why would we help you steal a fire truck?"

"Our new music video," Allie said.

He had a point. "Okay. But just this once."

"Wonderful! And, Immaculate? I can call a costume designer, a friend of mine, who can make that Masked Singer outfit," Allie said to me.

"I didn't even tell you about that. How do you—"

"I eavesdropped on your car conversation. I was strapped to the roof."

That evening, I turned on the TV in my room and was watching Disney Junior when Alexson knocked.

"Not occupied," I said, quickly turning the channel.

"That makes it sound like this is a public restroom," Alexson said.

"Not here," I clarified.

"But I can hear you in there."

"Occupied now," I said, making sure that some big monster truck show was on. "Come in!"

"But if it's occupied, I don't want to come in. Sounds like you're having a rough time in there."

I turned down the loud roaring of the monster truck engines. "You can come in."

Alexson came in, holding a pitcher of motor oil, a slab of meat, and four tins that looked like they might have cookies but only contained sewing supplies. "For sewing up our wounds," he explained.

"Oh!" I ejaculated. "Let me help you."

"I walked by the kitchen and they gave me this," Alexson said. "They also gave me a bunch of home baked goods and sweets but I ate them all before getting here."

"Ooh, I have a joke! Why is this building crumbling to pieces?" I exclaimed once we made our 'nest' on the floor.

"Coo, coo," Alexson said.

"No, we're not roleplaying as birds yet," I said.

"Oh. I dunno?" Alexson said through a mouthful of cookie that he had procured from his pocket.

"Because your big fat body is too much weight for it to hold, fatty!"

We both ejaculated with laughter.

We both woke up to the sound of sirens wailing and gunshots echoing across the pavement.

"Ooh, let's go get some food!" Alexson exclaimed.

I giggled in a manlike way at the rat's nest of his hair, even though it was how it always looked. "You're so cute when you've just woken up," I commented.

"What?"

"What?"

"What did you say?"

"No homo."

"Oh, okay. I'm hungry."

I gripped his hand as we both looked at the door. "This may be the last time we see each other," I said.

"It...might be?" he asked.

"We don't know what lies beyond that door," I continued. "But in this face of uncertainty, in this face of the very depths of fear's dark maw, we must leap with unwavering courage above the chasm that threatens to consume us as we strive for greatness in this world. This is beyond us. This is for the city. For our country. FOR OUR HOME!"

We charged out the door and into the kitchen once we had brushed our hair.

"Boys! You're alive!" Dad joked. Or maybe he wasn't joking. I could still hear sirens.

"Well, Immaculate looks like he's in the mood for some bacon," Allie said. He was balancing three plates of English Breakfasts and wore an apron that read I WORKED AT TARGET AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY APRON.

"Not true!" I sobbed. I was suddenly feeling emotional and very overwhelmed.

Alexson laughed because it's healthy to laugh at other's tears because it encourages them to stop crying and keep it all inside. Then he helped himself to breakfast.

One hour later, Alexson and I were sitting on a very unsteady fire escape sixty feet in the air, watching the fire station far below.

"Ugh, I'd jump right off if it wasn't for Allie's cooking," Alexson groaned.

Allie had made three different kinds of egg (chicken, duck, and horse), sausage, some sort of meaty dog treat, four different kinds of pancakes, and had his Houston syrup on the table.

"Are you okay?" I asked, very concerned. "Do you need to talk about anything?"

"I meant I feel very heavy after eating all that food and I don't think I'd float to the ground like usual," Alexson said.

"Let's go scout the fire station. I'm sure you'll feel better in no time," I replied.

Alexson nodded, and we both stepped into the apartment as the fire escape detached from the side of the building entirely and fell crashing to the ground.