Immaculate

Chapter 17

"Barry, what brings you here?" Clarity, Alexson's mom whose full name was If Our Love's Insanity Why Are You My Clarity, asked.

"Well, you see, I wanted to take the boys somewhere special today," Barry explained.

Alexson gave me a quizzical look, and I shrugged.

"Well, okay..." Clarity approved.

"YAYYYY!" we cheered, even though we had been uncertain two seconds ago. Maybe he was taking us to a water park at 11 pm!

"So Barry? Where exactly are we going?" I asked.

"This is a very delicate situation," Barry said. "Technically we're headed to the courthouse to argue that you should no longer be in custody of your Mother, but first I must gather evidence proving that she is not fit to take care of you."

"There's fifty billion cookies back home to prove that much. Also, Barry, I know you're the person who essentially raised me and everything, but you've been going out of your way a lot recently to help me out in things that don't really concern you. Thanks, but also, why?"

Barry sighed. "Remember when I told you your mother told me to look after this ring for her?"

I nodded. "It's how I recognized you in drag."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyway, it's an engagement ring."

"WHAT?!" Alexson and I both yelled.

"We finally got married this morning," Barry continued. "Stream just wanted to marry the first man she laid eyes on after the divorce. I however, immediately knew I could use this to my advantage. Now that I am technically your parent—"

"Not another stepdad!" I cried.

"I am hoping to obtain custody so you no longer have to live with your mother, or your father and his band, for that matter."

"They were kinda cool," Alexson said. "They signed my forehead."

"They are currently serving time in prison for stealing a fire truck from the city," Barry said. "None of the adults in your life seem very responsible."

"Except you, Barry," I said.

"Heavens, no. I'm not an adult. I'm only 17," Barry said.

"WHAT?!" Alexson and I both yelled.

"I thought you started working for my family when you were 19!" I exclaimed.

"I don't age in a linear fashion. Anyway, the purpose of this expedition is to obtain evidence in support of my argument against your Mother."

We had been driving along Route 69 for a while, and there was nothing in sight except for bones along the highway. I had a strange feeling that I shouldn't have eaten forty-five million of those cookies while I was making them, and that my carsickness was about to act up again.

"Okay, boys. Now listen to me closely. We are going to visit a gay club, okay? Don't ask why your mother is there. You two look old enough to be 21, and I probably do too, so I guess they'll let us in."

"Um....Barry? Don't we need IDs?" I asked.

"I stole some from your father's bandmates," Barry said. "They look similar to you. Sort of."

"This is a black man," I said. "I am not black."

"I said sort of."

I let my head fall on the headrest and sighed. Fire truck theft was one thing, but identity theft was another. Also, how did my Mother get all the way out here? We'd been driving for over an hour, and I hadn't been at Alexson's for that long.

I twiddled the ID card in my hands and accidentally snapped it in half.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but the parking lot is full," the man in the lot apologized.

"It's no issue, Clarence. Thank you for being upfront," Barry said.

"No problem, Barry. See you around."

We hadn't even made it past the entrance to the lot, but we could already tell that the place was hopping. Well, it wasn't that crowded, but a pirate ship was taking up half the parking spaces.

"How do you know that guy?" I asked Barry as he backed away.

"Union of Underpaid Servant Workers for the Upper Class," Barry said. "My brother was also in it as a Flamoria Target employee."

Once we were further away, Barry sighed in frustration. "Well, Immaculate, I suppose we could just use your word as evidence."

"And mine!" Alexson said. "Can Immaculate come live with me? I'll be his daddy."

"Save that for later," I said. "Also, I already have enough dads."

Alexson nodded.

All of a sudden, the van stopped. Scooby-Doo and his friends stopped, too.