Immaculate

Chapter 18

The van, which I was pretty sure wasn't the car we left Alexson's house in, had stopped in the parking lot of a beach. Despite the painfully bright LED headlights, it was hard to tell which beach.

I squinted into the distance at strangely shaped things moving in the distance. "Hey, what's that?" I asked.

"Let's go find out!" Alexson proclaimed, and ran through the wall of the van and onto the beach.

"Wait!" Barry called, but I had already busted through the van as well to join Alexson, who had stopped near the edge of the water. He was quaking, and I was worried that he was experiencing a small personal earthquake.

"I see dead people in boats."

"What? How do you know they're dead?"

"Idk I think that guy sorta looks like pictures of my dad," he shrugged, pointing at James Norrington.

"Alexson, I think that's James Norrington from Pirates of the Caribbean."

Barry finally caught up to us. "Hey, what took you so long?" I asked him. "We only ran like five feet, this is a really small beach."

He looked extra pale (for a British man) in the light of the full moon. "We should head back home, it's not safe here."

"Why? It's just a bunch of dead people." Alexson looked back at the boats. "Can anyone else hear music?"

We nodded. "Anyways," Barry continued. "Young masters, if we stay much longer, our clothes will be filled with sand. Also, once the boats finish passing, something infinitely more horrible will follow."

"Clowns?" Alexson shrieked manfully as I wailed, "My mom in a leotard and leg warmers?"

Barry pursed his lips. "WORSE."

A shadow loomed over us, blocking out the full moon and ceasing the weird itching of my arm and leg hair. I guess I would have to wait until a mysterious space object crashed into the planet to find out where I really belonged.

We turned dramatically and in sync, like that one K-pop group that my dad had beef with, to find a large, glistening green creature staring at us.

Alexson jumped into my arms. "ZOINKS!"

"WHAT IS THAT THING????" I screeched, abandoning all hopes of manliness. Barry took a photo with his phone, but the flash was on so it didn't come out very well.

"Immaculate...remember that thing I always wanted to tell you about but never got the chance to?" Alexson said.

"No? I mean, you already told me you loved me and desired me in every physical and nonphysical aspect."

He shook his head, clinging to my neck. "My family's private island's island spirit...THE MOTOSHONDU. I found out that it was real like four months ago and no one would listen to me except some blond guy with dreads."

Barry gagged. I did too, since I was still feeling a little carsick. "What do we do???" I asked dramatically.

"Oh, I didn't get that far into my Google search."

We ran, first in place, then into the van. The Motoshondu raced towards us, gnashing its porcelain veneers.

We paused, turned around to see it still advancing, and yelled "OH MY GWAD," in harmonic unison. I made it to the van and ripped open the passenger side door, tearing it off its hinges and shattering it. I tossed Alexson inside, then jumped onto his lap. Barry fixed his contour then started the ignition, propelling us backwards.

"WAIT!" Alexson yelled. "THE SEATBELTS!"

"Master Alexson, THERE IS NO TIME FOR PROPER ROAD SAFETY!" Barry said calmly.

We rocketed into the night. For some reason, Barry chose to drive in reverse the entire time. Every time I closed my eyes, I could still see the individual scales of the Motoshondu.

We never did learn what happened that night. We also never learned why my mom was at a bar for gay men. She did end up announcing her transition a month later.

"ANOTHER DAD?" I ejaculated.