Guiltless / Theon Greyjoy

54. Full Tilt

"You picturing that dummy to be me?" Theon questioned and Rieka turned to him putting down her blade, she let the tip dig into the snow at her feet. 

"Theon..." She whispered shaking her head.

"I'm glad you are practicing." Theon remarked gently. "Aim for the heart, kill me quicker."

"I thought I held your heart already." Rieka countered. Theon smiled softly to himself. 

"That you do." Theon agreed. 

 "I loved you. I thought you were dead... hell I wanted you dead for a while but... I want to see it." Rieka decided. 

"See what?" Theon countered. 

"What Ramsay did to you." Rieka decided.

"It's not... its... I dont want you to feel bad for me." Theon offered.

"I wont." Rieka assured. "But I want to see it, Theon. I want to see the scars, see if they match the beating you did on my heart. THen we can both move on."

Theon let out a shaky breath, tears dripped from his eyes. He pulled at his cloak but Rieka moved to him again.

"Not here." She corrected. He nodded, taking sluggish steps up to her room. She closed the door and he pulled off his shirt. The scars were deep and long. Rieka moved to Robbie settling him before she turned back to Theon. 

"I deserved every lashing, every beating... I deserved every cut." Theon assured. Rieka didnt know what to say. "Rieka-" he reached out a hand for her before stopping himself. "Im always going to love you. I know im the reason- im the problem. But breaking your heart was the worst thing I have ever felt. Your words still echo in my mind at night. I want to be better for you and Robbie even if we cant ever be anything..." rieka turned away from him bringing a hand to her mouth biting down on it in attempts to keep her feeling inside she wanted to be brave but she didnt know if she wanted to punch him all over again or kiss him.

She thought she was going to be sick. She hated what was done to him. Because maybe a part of her would always love Theon Greyjoy.

Rieka stared down at Robbie as Theon put his shirt back on. The one pure and good thing that brought only smiles and happiness. That didnt make her worry. She loved him. She wanted him to know winterfell. To keep that precious smile forever. She wanted jon back and safe. Her heart ached and theons sad puppy dog face made her want to hug him. Kiss him. 

But she didn't really want to hug him. But she also really did want to hug him. Wrap her arms around him and tell him everything would be OK. They will figure everything out.  One day. Rieka turned to Theon and wrapped her arms around him. 

"We will get through this Theon." 

Theon sobbed into her. 

"You and me and little Robbie, we will get through this." She assured kissing him temple. "Because we have to. Because I want to... because I will always love you."

 It felt like the beginning but seeing Ramsay felt like the end. 

"My beloved wife." Ramsay declared. "I've missed you terribly. Thank you for returning Lady Bolton safely." Rieka grit her teeth looking for Rickon. "Now, dismount and kneel before me, surrender your army and proclaim me the true Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North." Jon stared back at him, the nerve of this man.

"I will pardon you for deserting the Night's Watch. I will pardon these treasonous lords for betraying my house. Come, bastard, you don't have the men, you don't have the horses, and you don't have Winterfell." Ramsay taunted. "Why lead those poor souls into slaughter? There's no need for a battle. Get off your horse and kneel. I'm a man of mercy." Ramsay declared.