playing the part

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one night i was sitting in my living room,
crying so hard i could barely speak or breathe.
my mom came out from her bedroom
and said, "i thought you were doing okay..."
the truth is, she had no idea that i would
put on an act everyday just to go upstairs
to my bedroom at night and fall apart.
ever so quietly i would cry
like i was in that moment.
the pain would consume me,
filling my throat and lungs like i was
drowning in my own tears and sorrows.
going all day and avoiding the way you feel
so others don't worry about you is only
going to make everything inside your mind
grow darker and darker over time.
until finally the time comes when you
break like a mirror hitting cold, hard cement.
i could lie and say that after you crack
you stop pretending, but the truth is...
you have to keep playing the role
until one day you believe it.

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