RIVER (An Eminem FanFiction)

Chapter 5

March 12th 2023
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Sophia's POV

It's five years to the day since me and Marshall split. Five years since I found out I was pregnant with Ava.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. About us. About what could have been?

Where would we be today? Maybe with another baby, married? Unlikely but not impossible.

How would he be with Ava? I've always imagined he'd be amazing with her.

Today's anniversary is always a hard one for me because it marks the day my whole life, everything I've ever wanted fell apart.

I thank my lucky stars everyday that I didn't abort Avey like Marshall had asked, she's my whole world.

I thought Marshall would have come to at least meet Ave by now, I guess I alway thought or more like hoped that he only said those things in anger and confusion but clearly not.

This day is the one time a year that I give myself the time to grieve and reminisce all that happened with myself and Marshall. My friend Will and his wife Erin always take Ava for the day and I sit at home and cry.

I look back at the old pictures, videos and think back to my many memories with him. It's been five years but somehow the pain he caused me never gets any easier.

I had an old video camera that I'd stole from my parents house that I'd film things on in the hope we could both look back at the films one day, maybe even with our own child.

Marshall never understood it but he always just went along with it because he knew it made me happy.

He made a song 'Guns Blazing' back in 2020 and it was obviously about me. I was devestated, how could he hate me? Shouldn't it be the other way round?

The hardest part for me was when he said something about 'out of respect for your daughter'. As if she isn't his at all. I know it's not as simple as just saying "our daughter" because he'd have to explain that more but how disrespectful to his own child can he get?

He also mentioned that my toddler didn't deserve to be caught up in our dirt. Like I'm the one who's talking about her in a song. Like I'm the one who kicked my pregnant girlfriend out onto the streets.

It made me wonder if he ever told anyone about the real reason we split. I know he won't have told his girls, they'd have contacted me wanting to meet their little sister if he had.

Sometimes I wonder if I should contact them myself but because I still have a small amount of respect and care for Marshall, I don't want to put him in a bad place with his kids.

It's days like today that I feel so lost but so, so proud of the life I've worked to give Ava.

After being in the women's shelter for almost a year, Will and Erin moved into a bigger place and let me and Ava take their spare room. Something I will forever be thankful for.

I found a job as a mechanic at a local car garage and worked two separate part time jobs alongside it. I was exhausted but determined to get myself and Ava our own place and maybe eventually realise my dream of opening my own garage.

We stayed with Will and Erin for a little over a year before I got us a one bed apartment in a rougher area of the city.

I worked non-stop for years until I was burnt out but had almost enough saved for a deposit on a unit. My family pitched in as an early Christmas surprise and back in January, I'd bought and opened my own garage.

In the two months since opening, I've managed to move myself and Ava to a brand new two bed apartment in Rochester Hills. Not miles away from Marshall's home but far enough away that I don't have to worry to much about him finding some excuse to be even more pissed at me.

This five year mark feels like the first year I've felt content, happy to a degree. Things are finally falling into place and starting to go my way.

However, today I will still allocate to wallowing in self pity because every other day of the year I have to be strong for Ave.

As I watch a video that I'd taken of me and Marsh sitting on a couch, I feel the first tear of the day fall...

A/N - I'm so excited to start writing the next chapter as we'll carry on with Ava's fifth birthday, which was the original plan for this chapter but I wanted to give you a bit more insight into Sophia's life.

As always, any feedback or suggestions are welcome.

~ Im 💕