RIVER (An Eminem FanFiction)

Chapter 48

November 2nd 2023
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Sophia's POV

I reluctantly avert my gaze from the book I've been immersed in all afternoon as the door to the room opens, revealing a solemn looking Marshall.

Shocked to see him, I lift my head towards the clock and sure enough, it was 6:30. This book really must be engrossing.

I fold the page and place the book on my bedside table, waving Marshall furthur into the room.

He takes hesitant steps towards me before dropping down into the chair at my bedside.

"Hey." He says quietly, almost afraid.

"Its 6:31, you better get talking, only nine minutes left."

He looks at me with wide eyes before clearing his throat to talk.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I said. It was wrong and I know that now but I ain't think what you said in your little interview was cool either. Fuck, I ain't even cool wit' you doin' interviews." He drags his hand down his face. "Fuck, I need to shut up. I know I'm a dick, I do and I'm sorry for that but its the way I am."

"Here's whats going to happen. I'm going to vent, I'm going to get mad and maybe cry, I'm going to tell you everything I've surpressed for so long and you are going to sit and listen. Hopefully you'll realise you're a lot more than a dick."

He nods, looking down into his lap, awaiting what I have to say.

"I've reasons for everything that I've ever done." He mumbles beneath his breath.

"Reasons? Why haven't you ever shared them?" He looks briefly startled, learly not expecting me to have heard his comments.

"You didn't think I was owed a real explanation for the way you turned your back on me just when I may have needed you most? I was pregnant with YOUR daughter! You thought you could kick me out, close the chapter and go about your life, like it was nothing. You ruined mine but you seem to be doing fine. I'll never recover." I pause, taking in a deep breath in a bid to keep my emotions in check.

"You think you can hurt me and just keep getting away with it. You came back into our lives and almost tried to neglect what you did, as if you thought some time had passed and I'd forget it, forget it!" I feel my anger start to spill.

"YOU LEFT OUT FAMILY IN SHAMBLES! YOU EXPECTED ME TO JUST ABORT AND PRETEND SHE NEVER EXISTED. DON'T THINK CAUSE IT HAPPENED SO LONG AGO THAT YOU'RE FORGIVEN! THAT SHIT WAS ROTTEN, SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER!" I scream as tears flow freely down my face, his head still staring at his lap.

"HAVE YOU ANY IDEA THAT SHIT I'VE GONE THROUGH? ALL THESE FEELINGS I HARBOR, ALL THIS PENT UP RESENTMENT I HOLD ON TO?
NOT ONCE DID YOU EVER CALL TO ASK HOW WE WERE DOING! MY LETTERS, YOU NEVER RESPONDED TO 'EM! YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF MY PROBLEMS, THE REASON MY LIFE IS GARBAGE!"

"I'm sor-"

"I AIN'T HERE FOR YOUR EMPATHY, I DON'T NEED YOUR APOLOGY OR YOUR FRIENDSHIP OR SYMPATHY!" I sob into my hands.

"Its sad." I cry, feeling my anger slowly begin to dissipate but my sadness remain.

"It should have never came to this point, me lying here. We loved eachother Marsh, we still do. We were supposed to go throught everything together! You were supposed to be there for every scan, you were supposed to stress the fuck out every night trying to find food when I had a craving." He still keeps his head down, hood and hat obscuring his face.

"We were supposed to design her nursery together, pick out her name. You were supposed to be by my side when I gave birth, you were supposed to help me, teach me, reassure me that I wasn't a total screw-up of a mom everytime I couldn't figure out what she wanted. You were supposed to help me through my postpartum depression, you were supposed to be there for all of it and you weren't!"

"I had to figure everything out alone. I had to spend every night trying to put her to sleep alone and when I finally managed to get her down, I'd climb into bed and cry myself to sleep. You were supposed to be the one there to tell me it was ok, to rub my back and let me know I was actually doing great, despite my constant self doubt." I wipe a few more tears away as they begin to slow.

"We were supposed to be a team, for better or for worse. You'll never understand what I went throught. Going through childbirth and motherhood alone with nobody to turn to. Sure I had my friends who were always there to talk to, even offered me their spare room when I was in a shelter and unable to afford my own place but they weren't you. They weren't the man I love, the father of my child, the man who should have been there every step of the way."

Two security gaurds walks into the room, it must be 6:40. I signal to them for 10 more minutes and as they leave, Marshall finally raises his head to reveal his bloodshot, blue eyes and tear stained face...

A/N - i was listening to Bad Guy earlier and uses that as inspiration for what Sophia said in this chapter.

As always, any feedback or suggestions are welcome.

~ Im 💕