October 25th 2023
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Marshall's POV
I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for the explaining I'm about to do...
"Look, my life's fucked up Soph. I know that, you know that, heck the whole world knows that." I begin, fully aware that what I say now could make or break her ever wanting to talk to me again.
"I'm not all that used to good things happening to me, especially when it comes to family and well love. You were, well are everything I ever wanted. Before Kim, before Kesia, before anyone. You were what I always pictured I wanted from a person and I finally found someone that ticked all my boxes. I didn't know what to do, you made me feel things I didn't think I'd ever feel again. You taught me to trust and to love again." I pause, thinking about what I want to say next and not that Soph's eyes have welled up with tears once more.
"I must have irritated the shit out of you, constantly asking questions about where you were, always wanting you near me instead of with your friends." She smiles, nodding in agreement to how annoying I am.
"You didn't do any of that though. No questions, no following me around. You just trusted me from the start, no jealousy, no nothing. You loved me and for you that was enough. I'd never had that before. The freedom, someone trusting me and I didn't know how to react." I say, feeling my own eyes fill with tears.
"It's like I have this self-destruct button. Like I'm not worthy of good shit so I do something dumb and watch as it all crumbles around me. I can't comprehend how you can be so perfect. I kicked you out and you were still nice to me, you still let me into my daughters life. I beat the shit out of you and you still sit here, hearing me out. You're a motherfucking angel Soph and I don't want to lose you, I really don't." I confess, feeling a tear slip down my cheek.
"You're the only one I can truly just be me around. You're the only one who doesn't judge me. No persona, no Eminem, just plain old Marshall. I ain't ever had that before. Fuck, you're the only person I feel truly safe to cry around. I'm a fucking human too and you're the only woman who seems to understand that." To my surprise she reaches up and wipes a tear from my cheek before gently cupping it with her hand, pulling away all too soon.
"I used to think the whole 'you'll know when you're with the right person' thing was bullshit but I don't think it is, not anymore. You're the one Soph. You're it for me. You're my forever."
"Marsh-" She starts but I cut her off.
"I don't care whether it takes weeks, months or years. Fuck it, I don't care if you never want to be near me again. I'll wait for you, for us. I promise you, I'll fucking wait because there's nobody on this fucking planet that can make me feel like you. There's nobody I love as much as you, apart from the girls obviously but I can't be without you Soph." I push my luck and despite the pain it causes me I take hold of her hand with my own bandaged one.
"I want this Soph, us. I want us. I want us before Ava, before the fights. I want the old us but with Ava by our sides. I want our little family. We made Ava and I'm determined that we're going to raise her, together or not. I've made mistakes, I've messes everything up but I'm gonna make it right, I swear I am."
"I hate that I still love you." She cries. "You're it for me too. It's messed up but you are. You know, since I was a little girl the one thing I wanted was this big wedding and two little kids of my own. I gave up both of them dreams for you, because I love you and then I found out I was pregnant and I don't know, I felt almost complete." She says, removing her hand from mine to wipe a couple of tears. She then places the small ring box into my hand.
"Its probably the dumbest thing I'll do but if you're that sure you want this to work. If you're that sure you want to give this a shot then you may need that ring someday in the future. As stupid as it sounds, if you asked me now, the answer would be yes. The answer will always be yes but I want to do this the right way. I need to see that you'll never do this to me, to our family again because as much as I adore you, what's best for Ava will always come first."
I close my hand around the box, genuinely contemplating asking her to marry me this second but deep down I know its not right.
"Clean slate?" I offer with a smirk, holding my hand out for her to shake.
"Clean slate. We'll be ok right?" She questions looking unsure.
"I fucking hope so."
She leans over and hugs me and for the first time in my life, I feel safe, knowing the future may actually be good for me...
A/N - i may or may not of had a little cry whilst writing this chapter too.
As always, any feedback or suggestions are welcome.
~ Im 💕
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RIVER (An Eminem FanFiction)
Fanfiction*Loosely based on the 2017 song 'River' by Eminem and Ed Sheeran* After being with Marshall for a little over a year, Sophia found out she was pregnant in March of 2018. Thrilled with the prospect of being a mother, Soph can't wait to tell Marshall...
