October 14th 2023
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Sophia's POV
We eat our Taco Bell and Marshall and Ava are getting on better than I ever could have hoped.
I've had to make excuses to leave the room a couple times whilst I fought to keep my tears at bay. This is all I've ever wanted, Ava to have us both, a proper family.
We clean up all the mess together and I then take Ava upstairs to get ready for bed, after she's hugged Marshall goodnight.
He stays downstairs, I assume to wait for the long overdue talk we both need to have.
It takes a little while to settle her down, I'm guessing because of the whole 'dad showed up out of the blue after five years thing' and also the fact it's her birthday.
After I finally manage to leave her room without being bombarded with another twenty questions, I make my way back downstairs.
I close the door to the living room and Marshall turns and offers me a weak smile.
I take a seat opposite him, unsure how to start this conversation.
"I don't even know what to say." He speaks up after a while. "I can keep saying I'm sorry but it just feels like a broken record, I'm not getting anywhere with it."
"Then stop saying it. What's it gonna solve, huh? Can you turn back the clock five years? I don't think so." I say say coldly.
I can feel my anger begin to rise now that I'm alone with him and I know Ava is in bed and there's minimal risk of her hearing us.
"I wish I could."
"Do you have any idea what I went through? Any at all?" He bows his head and shakes it gently. "Do you care?"
"Course I fucking care. You went through that with my daughter and I love you, both of you."
What? Did he just say he love's me? I stare at him for a little bit, him telling me he love's me just bought so many comforting feelings back to the surface but once again I can feel my anger wash over me, drowning those feelings back out.
"YOU LOVE ME? IT'S A PRETTY FUCKED UP IDEA OF LOVE TO KICK SOMEBODY OUT ONTO THE STREETS WHEN THEY'RE PREGNANT WITH YOU'RE FUCKING CHILD MARSHALL." I scream at him. "I WAS HOMELESS. AVA WAS HOMELESS. I LOST MY JOB AND COULDN'T GET ANOTHER BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT AND WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO EMPLOY A PREGNANT WOMAN, HUH?" After I stop, a sense of relief washes over me. Maybe this is what I needed, the closure, being able to try and make him understand my pain.
"I lost everything." I now quieten back down as I begin to cry. "I lived at a women's shelter, I gave birth alone, I figured out how to be a parent alone. I lost trust in everyone I knew, I couldn't get close to people out of fear they'd stab me in the back and leave me alone. I had to lodge with friends until I could get us our first place. I was working a job and two part time jobs just to scrape enough together for rent. This is the first year I've felt content, the first year I haven't had to worry where our next meal was coming from or if we'd be back at the women's shelter in a month's time." I dry my eyes, I don't want him to get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
He now raises his head back up and I can see a couple tears on his face, I've never seen him cry.
"Why didn't you call? You could have told me."
"And what? Be screamed at for keeping the baby and told I was some gold digging whore? No thanks."
"I'm sor-"
"No, you're got to stop saying that. At the end of the day, you're here now. I'd accepted you would never care but you're here for Ava and that's deep down all that matters to me, that she has her father."
"You're too good, Soph. Really, you are."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Who did you tell? What did you tell them?"
"I told people it just hadn't worked between us. The only one that knows is Paul. I let it slip by accident after you sent that letter and he's been up my ass since about me meeting Ava." He lightly smiles. "The guys thought you'd cheated when you posted that shit about having a baby but I told them no and they ain't touched on that topic since."
"And the girls?"
"Like I said, I told 'em it didn't work out."
"So they hate me?"
"Why the fuck would they hate you?"
"It'll seem like I never said goodbye, never gave them a second thought."
"I never thought 'bout that."
"No 'cause that's how it's always been ain't it? As long as you're ass is covered it doesn't matter who gets thrown under the bus. Even if it's your own girlfriend and baby."
"I don't get what you want me to say? I can't turn back the time. I wish I could, believe me I do but I can't."
"You can start by figuring out when you want to see Ava again. Or is this just another one of those things where you make sure you seem like the good guy, meeting your daughter and then you fall of the face of the Earth and don't contact us for another five years?"
"Come over for dinner tomorrow? Just me, you and Ava. I want this to work, I really do. I'm not expecting you to ever like me again but I just want to get to know my daughter, please?"
"Fine. She'll like that."
"And you won't?" He says with a playful grin.
"Depends, if you're cooking I won't." I fire back causing us both to laugh.
"Fine, I'll order in." He glances at the clock. "I better get going."
We both stand up and head towards the front door, where he unlocks it and steps outside
He turns and pulls me into a hug, one that I gladly accept. I've always loved his hugs, I've always felt safe in them. I always felt safe with him.
"Thanks Soph, really. I'll see you guys tomorrow at 5, I'll let security know you're coming." He says as he starts to walk away from the door.
"See you then."...
A/N - I'm back.
Sorry for the delay. Like I said in the Author's note, I got sick but chapters should become frequent again now.
As always, any feedback or suggestions are welcome.
~ Im 💕
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RIVER (An Eminem FanFiction)
Fanfiction*Loosely based on the 2017 song 'River' by Eminem and Ed Sheeran* After being with Marshall for a little over a year, Sophia found out she was pregnant in March of 2018. Thrilled with the prospect of being a mother, Soph can't wait to tell Marshall...
