Men shouting
Its too loud
I need to escape
I need to get out
My dad used to yell like that
Right in my face
No matter how minor the mistake
Even if one was not made
My son hugged me too tight
Arms wrapped around my neck
Keep the pain inside
It's not his fault I'm a wreck
His dad choked me once
Blacked out during sex
He kept going
I don't remember the rest
Smoking weed with someone alone
It throws me into a panic
Especially if it's someone I don't really know
The last time I made that mistake
I left with a busted lip
And I was brutally raped
Keep the door locked
Whenever I sleep
It makes me feel safe
Nobody can come after me
My step dad used to come to my door every night
Hide
Pretend you're asleep
Degrading names during sex
A hard boundary
My mom used to call me names
"Slut"
"Bitch"
They will forever haunt me
The dark swallows me whole
My heart races
Until the light enfolds
Locked in closets as a child
Deemed a necessary punishment
To everyone else this fear is laughable
I try to ignore the judgment
-LS
