How long?
How long until my mind is restful ?
I've given it time.
Every minute I can spare.
How long until it's calm?
Why isn't my mental satisfied?
I've tried sitting in the dark
Silent, Alone...
I've tried poetry
I've painted
Pierced my skin
How long until these things spark the joy I crave?
How long until I find love?
The love I've been waiting endlessly for
Suffered an abusive mother and an absent father
How long until I heal?
I'm tired of feeling so weak
Incapable of feeling pure happiness
How long until I'm truly cared for?
I give myself to the people I hold high
Completely willing to break myself for ones I love
Is it not enough?
How long until I can rest?
I'm always running
Running from the pain
Trying to avoid the stress
It doesn't work no matter how far I go
Everything stays inside my mind
For my brain is my true foe
How long until I'm no longer dependent?
Nicotine, a warm body to hold, sex, money
It's as if my life depends on it
They're just temporary
But... for a brief moment
I don't hurt as much
