Poems

Spirit of Fear

I was listening to Blood//Water while writing this so... Tad bit violent at one point... hehe...

"Spirit of fear, 

Leave my child

Don't worry dear, it's not my fault

When my eyes were wide and wild"

"But Mom, I have reactions too

It's a normal human way"

But she wouldn't truly listen

As my feelings went astray

Darkness now exists

And hatred rises past

All the wounds from my life battle

Your joy like mine won't last

As I broke down and cried

After you grabbed my hand

And slapped me cross the face

And I fell down, no will to stand

Is it really a spirit of fear

When you struck me not once but thrice

Like when I went to bed still hungry

As you ate a meal. must be nice

On the spirit of fear

You blame what you've done

You sent me to my room

When it was still one

You say to forgive you

When you still don't respect me

Looking up to you

Makes me feel so unworthy

Mom what the fuck

Are you even still sane

You lost control

And then blamed your brain

You had a concussion

Well, yes that is fair

But when I had trauma

You laughed and said where

I still cry in my room

Alone and so lost

You said you'd send me back

That it's free of cost

Adopted I was

But always alone

You left, I fought my demons

Chilled to the bone

My life's not as bad as others

I'm dramatic... Have fake tears

Because It's all my fault

I have a spirit of fear

I try to live the lie

That you put inside my head

That I wouldn't laugh, no I would cry

If you ended up dead

My thoughts are hardly human

But I promise I'm still fine

I'm like the little baby star

That knew not how to shine

I'm normal.. Perfectly

I'm not falling apart

Feel bad for my future lover

Because I've got a rusty heart

"Don't worry! Guys... 

I'm okay" I scream in my friend's ear

I'm fine! I know! It's just my fault

Cuz I have a spirit of fear