{7} What a Mess.

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I always felt trapped growing up like I did. Constantly diminished was one of the many things I dealt with. It felt like I was caged in, never to be free. For a while, after I ran off to California I thought maybe I could've changed that. Somewhere along the way, my wounds were able to create a barrier, faking a healed wound.

Those wounds are so very easy to open. Especially when the ones who created it re-appear in your life unwanted.

These same realizations appear each night in every nightmare. Nightmares used to be common in my sleep routine, but they had disappeared after a while. Tonight though, was the night they came back.

Unwanted.

"You should be grateful you were born my daughter Kathelyn. Power is right in your hands for the future. Why don't you understand that?" My dad yells angrily from across the dining room table. "I do it's just-" I know mostly everyone thinks out what they say before they say it but my level of thinking is so much more important. If I deliver this the wrong way all it will cause is another cigarette burn.

That's the worst they've done.

So far...

"I'm not power hungry like you two," I state shyly, implying a direct message to my parents. Within seconds the room turns into an uncomfortable dark-lit room with harsh stares from them at the other end of the table.

Disappointment and anger bond into one single emotion.

Fury.

"...Grab her." The moment those words leave my mom's mouth my body goes into panic mode. I never dare to fight these punishments, I fear doing it. Today feels different, dangerous, horrible, and I run.

The chair squeaks at my quick motion to get out of the room. I hear my dad yelling at the guards we have to come after me as I sprint up the stairs to my room. "Kathelyn get back here!" My dad yells when I reach my bedroom, shutting, and locking the door behind me.

My breaths are heavy, frightened, and ultimately tired of all of this. Steps lurk closer urging my heartbeat to beat faster, harder, panicked. "Open the door and we can talk Katie." I ran from him, something I've never tried because I know better. In the end, I did that very thing and now I know he's angry like never before.

"No," I choke out through a voice crack of fear. This angers him further, but he masks it. "Katie, please..." He never says please, and for some reason, I fall for it. I turn around slowly, unlocking the door with shaking hands. "I'm sorry-" Right when I'm apologizing, opening the door, the words morph into a painful, quiet, grunty gasp.

Pain shoots across my entire body, shock numbing me entirely. My eyes glued to my dad's dark ones, my mouth parted, tears cascading down my face. "Don't ever disrespect me like that Kathelyn. You forget that I'm your father and I deserve respect."

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