Fifty Shades Of Red | Charles Leclerc

35. Dead To Me

Hailey's pov

Even with all the mess going on all around me, it's only those green eyes I'm able to see. It's like even in the middle of a storm, his eyes are the only thing that keep me grounded, guiding me, showing me the way back to the shore.

But this time around, I feel them pulling me under, keeping my head from reaching the surface.

I watch the ferrari driver from afar as he adjusts his racing suit, a smile on his face as he answers a few questions an interviewer is asking him, completely oblivious to how the sunset behind dulls in comparison to the vibrance that is him. I feel my body tense by only looking at Charles, even though he has no idea I'm standing just right in front of him. He slightly shifts his position, but his movements don't feel familiar to me anymore. It's like I'm looking at a totally different person, now that I know the truth. Now he's just an unknown silhouette of the person I thought I knew.

I'd had no idea how much it was going to tear me apart to see him again, after finally finding out what Charles had been keeping from me behind closed doors. But now that everything is exposed to the light, perhaps life wasn't so full of bright colours before. Perhaps I had only seen what I wanted to see.

I take a deep breath to ground myself and ease up all the raging anger building up inside of me. Going up to him and causing a scene with all these people and press around is not the smartest idea, including here the fact that it's my last race ever.

Charles laughs and the sound of his laughter pierces through my ears. Somehow, looking at him being this happy makes my anger slowly fade and I allow myself only for a few seconds to cling to the feeling of peace that washes over me everytime he laughs, before putting my guard back up. I close my eyes, not wanting to look at him anymore. If I continue to, I'll probably start forgetting everything that he has done.

When I reopen my eyes, chills run through my body, seeing his eyes connected with mine. It's like we're automatically sent into another dimension, another world where it's just him and me. No darkness. Just light. But that only lasts a second before we're pulled back into this chaos.

Charles continues talking for the camera, but he throws a wink at me before giving me a huge grin. I force the corners of my mouth to not curl up into a smile and I try to keep a neutral face on. He doesn't deserve a sweet smile, or a loving look but he has sunk his roots so deep into me that I would give him the entire world if he barely even asked.

Him asking me for it, is the last thing I can afford right now, so when Charles waves at the camera and starts making his way towards me, I take a few steps back but...it's useless. He's already headed my way and the cameras behind him film his every step.

"Hails!" Charles exclaims, seeming happy to see me, whereas I on the other hand am fighting with my life to not give him an angry look in front of everyone.

Charles wraps his hands around my waist as he pulls me close to his embrace, his touch making me feel as if thorns are slicing my skin open. His hands—the ones that would caress my skin gently as if trying to memorise every part of me.

His hands—the ones that wrote the letter...

He hugs me and any other day I would have melted in his warmly presence, but not today. Not from now on.

I catch a glimpse at the cameras behind him, so I  force myself to patt him on the back, but it feels nothing like the hugs I would give him after a long day or like being curled up in bed, cuddling together. My body tenses and Charles isn't late to catch on to it.

It's hard to fake a smile when the entire world is watching...and when a person knows you too well.

"The cameras are gone." I mumble through gritted teeth, putting my hands on his chest to slightly push him away. I avoid eye contact with him like a life or death situation, scared that if I look at him I might just break.